Write off the Fear

Chapter 5

Okay, so, deciding to ask the cheer squad for help and actually doing it is two very different things. It's been a week since Mim made that decision and she's tried and chickened out five times since then. It's not as easy as some people might think.

Mim is on her way to the library for another free period, thinking of another way to approach the cheer squad or maybe totally giving up on the idea, when the mention of her name stops her in her tracks. She can hear two familiar voices talking just around the corner.

"Hey, didn't Mim help you a bunch with the album?" Rory, Jason's best friend, asks.

"Not really. She suggested some things, but it's mostly all me." Jason replies

"Huh, then why were you together for so long? Didn't seem like you liked her all that much." Rory asks again

"I needed a muse." Jason states as a way of an answer.

Then she hears the metal clang of a closing locker before the two of them start walking off in the other direction and Mim is left seething. Her hand that isn't carrying any books is balled into a fist, by her side, so tight she's sure her knuckles have gone white. She's not sure how long she stands there for but she's so angry that she doesn't notice that someone is standing in front of her until they tentatively put their hand on her shoulder.

Her head whips up and she's suddenly staring into the concerned eyes of one Katelyn Carr and Mim lets out a shaky breath, trying to calm herself down a little.

"Hey, are you okay?" Katelyn asks with so much concern in her voice that Mim has to look down at her shoes because the sincerity just about breaks her and all she can do is nod her head. "Are you sure?" Katelyn checks with just as much concern and Mim can't handle it so she shakes her head vigorously as a single tear slides down her cheek.

Before she can comprehend what is happening, Katelyn lightly tugs on her arm and leads her through the halls, towards the auditorium's back door and into the backstage bathrooms. As soon as the bathroom door closes, Mim is using both arms to tightly hug her books to her chest and trying to take deep breaths to keep her emotions at bay while avoiding eye contact. But then she starts to slightly shake and Katelyn softly says, "I'm going to hug you now, okay?" and when Mim doesn't respond, she wraps her arms around her. With Mim's face smushed into Katelyn's shoulder she starts to sob, letting the tears fall freely and Katelyn tightens her grip around her.

After what feels like hours, but really is only about 10 minutes, Mim's tears have finally stopped, her breathing evening out and she's starting to just enjoy the arms tightly wound around her. That's when it hits her and she pulls away quickly, eyes snapping up once again to meet concerned ones.

"I'm s-so sorry. I don't know why I just cried like that. All over your shoulder. I'm so sorry. I, oh no. Your shirt is all damp now. I'm so, so sorry. I-" Mim is cut off mid ramble

"Hey, hey. It's okay." Katelyn assures her and Mim looks at Katelyn unsure. So she adds on, "Really. It's just a shirt, it'll dry." At this Mim still has an apologetic look on her face but nods her head. "Do you want to talk about it?" Katelyn asks in a soft voice.

At this, Mim just sighs, leans against one of the walls by the door, then slides down to sit on the floor, places her books to her left and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath and senses Katelyn sitting down to her right. "Jason's been going around telling everyone that he wrote all his own stuff for his album. I don't know if you know this, but we dated for a while. I ended things in the summer and it wasn't a very nice breakup. Anyway, over summer, while we were together, I helped him with his album." Mim opens her eyes and stares at the wall on the opposite end. "I basically reworked all his stuff and wrote most of the lyrics for him. He had some bones in his stuff, but it wasn't going anywhere." At this point Mim takes another deep breath and runs a hand through her hair. "I just thought he'd at least give me some credit. But he's saying I barely helped him and it just makes me so mad that I can't do anything about it." She puts her face in her hands and lets out a frustrated growl, then lifts her head again. "I've got this really bad case of stage fright and I've been trying to work on it but it's all pointless if I can't even move my hands to play an instrument." Mim lets out another sigh. "It'd just be nice if I can do just one killer performance and shove it in his face." Mim says with a bit more bite in her tone.