So, this happened at a botanical garden my family and I were at. For context, I recently sorta self diagnosed myself with Autism. And I stim when I'm happy or anxious. So I'm really kinda happy, cause there were some pretty flowers there. And I start stimming. Like, kinda small hand flaps, which I normally don't do around other people. And my dad sees and says, "What are you doing? Just walk normally." And I immediately stop. I clench my hands into fists, and then start repeating two lines. "Cause I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on every one" from Dandelions by Ruth B. (aka the song above). And later, I'm looking to see if verbal stimming is a thing. And it is. So then, later I send my mom an article about stimming. She reads it and then we have a little convo over text.
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And it kinda hurts that my dad cares so much about social appearances. I'm pretty sure no one was even paying attention to us. It just hurts a bit.
And I know I sound bratty because there are so so many people suffering right now, and it feels..... stupid to feel sad over this. So now I think I might have to mask at home too.
