Bound by Blood (A Vampire Academy fanfic)

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of this story. These characters belong to Richelle Mead

Everything after Alina's pulse faded was a blur. I was numb. My mother didn't ask if I was okay because we both knew I wasn't. I would probably never be.

I never thought my day would end in such agony. I was prepared for the sleepless nights and labour pains, but nothing could have prepared me for this. It was like someone had taken my heart and shattered it into a million pieces. Its fragments pierced my every fiber, killing me slowly. Everything I looked at was a reminder of her. My rounded stomach reminded me of all the things I'd never have. I would never get to hold her, admire her, love her the way I wanted to. I would never get to be a part of her life and watch her grow. I'd never see her smile or hear her laugh or smell her sweet baby scent. She would never blow out her birthday candles, or make a best friend, or fall in love. I would never get to smother her in kisses. I would always remember her as a small pink baby, who never got the chance she deserved.

A nurse came in to check my vitals. Before she could leave, she handed me a photo. It was of Alina and I. I was looking down at her, tears streaming down my cheeks. She was so small and beautiful. She was the one perfect thing in my life. The one person I thought would be constant. Who would love me unconditionally. Because I was her mother. She couldn't replace me. I loved her so much and she was taken away from me. Maybe I wasn't needed anymore.

A few moments later Alberta walked in. She looked a bit worried.

"Don't worry, the nurses are on suicide watch after my little episode," I assured her.

"Rose, do you know why I care so much about you? Because you are the strongest, most selfless person I know. You risk your reputation, your life, your world for Lissa time and time again. You leave yourself as a last minute thought. And you will get through this. You will probably never move on, and no one expects you to, but you'll be okay."

I started sobbing again and she just held me close. She knew I just needed comfort. I needed the loving arms of a mother and Alberta was the closest thing to that. She told me that my mother needed to go back to the Szelsky lord.

"I just want my baby back," I sobbed. 

" I know, honey, I know. But you don't have to die to make it all better," she whispered.

But I want to.