My Strange Addiction

Diana's past

⚠️ TW: Rape/ date rape, abuse, manipulation, sensitive topics, etc. ⚠️

"Diana, you okay??"  Lorenzo looked at Diana as she regained consciousness and sat up. "What happened?" She put her hand on her forehead as she took a look around.

"Why are we here?" She turned to Lorenzo. 

"Do you know where we are? I brought you here but all of a sudden you started hyperventilating and then you passed out. You were talking unconsciously." 

"What... Did I say?" She questioned, nervous that she may have revealed something she shouldn't have. 

"You were crying... And saying things like, 'Get away from me!! Why are doing this to me! Why me! I'm sorry' repetitively. Diana, how badly are you burdened by your past?" His hands were trembling as he gripped hers. 

"I'm sorry to have put my burdens on to you, I just didn't expect to be brought here of all places."

"Does this place bring bad memories? I'm sorry Diana, its all my fault, I just thought since it was-" Diana cut him off, "It's not your fault, its mine. Don't worry about it." She took a deep breath. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" She opened her eyes. "Well I guess I should let you in a bit..." 

It all started when Diana was in high school.

~Diana POV~

When I was 14 in high school, I was chubby in all of the wrong places and a total tomboy at that. 

We got a new transfer student and I was in charge of guiding him around the school. Usually my instincts about people were accurate, and they were telling me to stay away from him, but for some reason, everyone around me thought that he was a good guy. 

In the end I was manipulated by him into thinking everything was my fault. I couldn't trust my thoughts or feelings anymore.

By the end of that school year, we started to date and things were good at the start.

But he wanted sex even though I didn't. I was still just a kid, I wasn't ready to give myself to him. Around that time was when things started to get toxic. 

I suppose he couldn't take my refusal anymore, so he hit me.  He'd beat me harshly and threaten me.  I was just... I was too scared to try and tell anyone even though I knew I should have.

I tried to avoid him, but somehow I ended up going back to him despite the beatings. 

He'd say he only did it because he loved me, I couldn't help but believe him though I knew it was wrong. Each time I went back, his behavior would constantly change... 

And when I was a 16, he asked me if I could pick him up from a party because he was drunk and cops showed up. At the moment didn't think there was anything wrong so I picked him up and dropped him off at his house. 

But he was too drunk to even walk or get into the house. So I went in and helped him get to his room. 

His clothes smelled bad and he was covered in barf so I thought it'd be okay to take his shirt and jeans off for him. But when I was removing his jeans, he woke up and misunderstood the situation. 

He started kissing me, which was normal since I was okay with kissing and touching and all, but I still didn't want to have sex. 

So when he tried to take off  my clothes I pushed him away, which pissed him off so much he hit me to the point where I knew I couldn't fight back and win.

I froze. 

I froze as he drugged me. I froze as he raped me. I froze when I knew he would penetrate me. I wanted to fight back. I wanted to fight back so, fucking,  badly, but I couldn't. 

I would always tell myself before that, "If that ever happened to me, I would fight back." But when it happened, I couldn't do a damn thing as the difference between a man and a woman's strength became clear as day to me.

I cried silently as he towered over me. 

I remember the day so vividly. The horrible touching, hitting, choking, penetration, oral, everything, even the parts where I almost died. 

I tried to fight back with insults like, "I can't feel it at all micro dick." But that just made them angrier. 

I kept fainting from the pain and waking up again and again, over and over, for many different hours, maybe days, of the same thing happening, in and out of consciousness.

I remember being tied, blindfolded, hearing different voices and hands touching me, penetrating me, toying with me, releasing into me.

They recorded themselves raping me. What made everything worse was that though I hated it, and I wanted to die, I still orgasmed. I was horrified at the fact that I was getting raped yet it happened multiple times.  

Because of that, they were telling me that in reality I really wanted to get raped, or it wasn't really rape because I was loving every minute of it, that since I enjoyed it so much it became consensual. That I should just sit there and take it.

Their words stuck into my head. 

They made me believe their words. 

And when it was finally over after a week I suppose... When he finally was brining me home, you know what he said to me when he parked the car in front of my house? 

He told me, "If you had just said yes the first time, things could have been much better for you. I wouldn't have had to share you with those grimy sons of bitches. Pfft, at least I got to finally get into your tight little hole. It was extremely enjoyable wasn't it baby?"

You're the grimy one.

And since I didn't reply, he took his seatbelt off, hit me in the face and said, "When I'm talking to you, respond. Remember that I own you. I control your words and actions. You'll never be able to run away so don't even try it." 

I was so scared, I couldn't fight back, I couldn't speak either because of the pain I was in. And me not being able to reply was a problem...

He pushed me into his back seat and once more, he raped me and took a picture of it.

Once he was done, he brought me to my room and left.

No one was home because everyone was out on vacation. So I finally looked at myself after not being able to do so.

My entire body was covered in hand and bite marks, cuts, bruises, anything. I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. Everything but my face was ruined.

No matter how much I showered, I still felt dirty. I would scrub and scrub until my skin burned or starting peeling. 

During the time that I didn't eat nor drink, I couldn't bring myself to. I lost most of my body fat, I was no longer the fat Diana that everyone knew.

I ended up spending the rest of my time in my room trying to recover from my wounds and mental scars but I couldn't. I fell into a deep state of depression and couldn't eat nor sleep. 

I figured I should go to a doctor to get checked out when I regained a sense of self but going in there, I couldn't bear to see a man. 

That day, they told me my lower body was so damaged that if I didn't go in I could probably die and never have kids. It was always my dream to have kids so I started treatment while skipping school for a while. In the end they told me I couldn't have kids and on the off chance I did, I'd die or the fetus would.

I was miserable. 

A/N: 

The second half of Diana's past is in the next chapter...

This really... hurt a lot to write. If you've ever went through something like rape, abuse, manipulation, etc. 

Just know that even if you think theres no one to talk to, and no one who cares, Theres always a person that will help even if they're not close to you...

Even I, a stranger to you, will listen to your story.