𝙰𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 | 𝚃𝚘𝚖 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚡 𝙾𝙲 (𝟷𝟾+)

10 ~ I Can't, Not Again

Tom Holland

"Tonight?"

"Tonight." Dad confirms. I nod, knowing he can't see me as I prepare my men for the new 'meeting', which will most likely end up with some dead, but hey? That's what happens in this industry.

"Alright, I'll tell Haz so he can get the guys ready... Thanks, dad" I hang up the phone, excited for the new deal I was given. It's been awhile since dad has given me one, but according to him, this one's 'special'; it's going to show him if I'm ready to become leader or not. So if it goes well, I have a new title to my name, which I'll accept happily. Harrison walks into my office with a slightly annoyed expression plastered on his face.

"Mate, Good news! Dad got us-"

"Why are you ignoring Ruth after kissing her?" He interrupted, scowling me. I stare at him with wide eyes, my good mood becoming sour quickly.

"Are you serious? Mate, that's my business not yours. Now, back to the task at hand-"

"Tom-"

"Dad got us a new mission-"

"Tom."

"Tell the lads! Tonight, we will feast like kings!" I laugh, ignoring his attempts to talk. He huffs and shakes his head, going to do as I said, not bothered to try and talk to me. I jump out of my seat, feeling cheery and wanting to take my princess for a walk.

I get Tess ready and leave the house, the thoughts I've been thinking about for hours, keeping me awake all night coming to me all at once. I shake them off, or at least try to. Ruth and I kissed 2 days ago, and all I've said to her is 'sorry' when we bumped into each other. I stayed out of the house yesturday, needing a break from it and went to a random pub. I ended up fucking a chick in the bathroom and coming home, straight to bed but couldn't sleep. Guilt kept me up, it's not like I was dating Ruth, we kissed once. Yet I still feel like shit.. I fucking hate feelings.

꒦꒷♡꒷꒦

After the walk that felt longer than what it was with my drowning thoughts, I'm greeted by Martha that's sporting a mean scowl.

"God- Why is everyone mad at me today?" I mumble, taking Tessa's lead off. Martha scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest.

"oh, I wonder. Maybe because you won't trust yourself to love someone when there's clearly feelings there after a heartfelt kiss?" She scoffs again, shaking her head in disappointment. How many people did Ruth tell?? I throw my arms up and huff.

"It really isn't your business, Martha..." I mutter, making my way to my room. I get up stairs, seeing Ruth walk out of her room in her gym gear. My heart rate rises as I see her, flustered and slightly nervous. She looks up and me, putting her hand on my chest as I try to walk past her.

"No, no we're going to talk" She speaks, crossing her arms and looking at me with a 'go on with it' look. I sigh and shake my head.

"What about?" I rub the bridge of my nose. She scoffs.

"What about? How about the kiss? How about how you've been ignoring me? And don't even get me started on that phone call you had last night with someone called 'T'" She spoke clearly in a demanding tone. She heard the fucking call? Fuck..

"Look, Love. The kiss meant nothing and you know that. It was bottled up emotions you had to let out, I was just the one to deal with it" I shrug.

"No! No- It wasn't.. Y-you felt something, right? You must have! I'm not crazy, there's something here, Tom! Don't ignore this please" She pleads, her eyes getting glossy as she stands there. I clench my jaw and look down at the floor, blinking as I try to get rid of the growing tears in my eyes.