Endurance ( Remastered)

Chapter 4 - I Die To Watch Us Live (You Live To Watch Us Die)

**The title for this chapter was a Motley Crue demo that was never brought to life.

**I forgot to put in the end notes last week that it was true, Beth dated Nikki first. For whatever reason they decided to have this threesome with Vince. And before things started, Nikki soon found himself alone on the other side of the bedroom door. He was pissed, but ultimately, what are you going to do when two people seem to belong together. Beth and Vince got married and had a baby girl together a few years later. Vince's marriage to Beth was kept low-profile to keep Vince's bad-boy sex appeal at peak as the band was on the rise.

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The Crüesing Thru Canada Tour was a complete bust in every aspect. They had lost stagewear and equipment. They played only six shows before Aaron announced that they wouldn't be touring at any of the venues scheduled westward into British Columbia because he and the investors ran out of money to fund the rest of the tour, if you could have even called it that.

Aaron had promised them venues with seating capacities from eight hundred to seventeen hundred people, yet they found themselves playing in roadside bars and clubs no bigger, and oftentimes smaller, than what was available in Los Angeles. And not only that, Nikki had done what seemed to be irreparable damage to his friendship with Tommy, and he was feeling the consequences of those actions.

Since that day, when they had the big sausage breakfast, Tommy's natural inner spark had gone dim and had yet to be relit, even months later. Everything fun and carefree about him had since been muted and calculated. He was cautious about nearly every little thing he said and did. And if he slipped up with a laugh that was too raucous, or a rambling rant that spun out of control, fear would strike within his eyes upon realization of the loss of his discipline. Then he would seemingly wait for a rebuke or insult. Which generally never happened, granting him relief after a few tense seconds.

Nikki knew it was his doing. He took his brand of censure a step too far. But he felt that he had to. Tommy's affections towards him were becoming too reckless. But the question was, reckless for whom? No one else knew or sensed anything, at least as far as Nikki knew. It was all for his own protection against his weak defenses. There was something about that boy that had Nikki in a twist. And he longed for what he lost.

He never allowed himself to think about it long enough to pinpoint exactly what it was about Tommy that had his hormones spiking. Was it that deep, rich voice that matched the bass tones that he knew so well? Was it his boundless, carefree energy that never failed to uplift his stale mood? Maybe just that slender body that became more toned as the days rolled on, making those sleeveless shirts appear as if they were tailored just for him. Whatever it was, it had all been swept away by that giant tsunami, better known as Nikki's fragile and homophobic ego.

Nikki always believed that men belonged with women, and women belonged with.... hmm, um... okay, well there was an exception to the rule for lesbians. Especially if they were hot and having sex that he could watch. But, man to man? Maybe it was okay for anyone else... he honestly didn't care what other people did or who they loved, as long as it didn't involve him. If Tommy was gay or bi-sexual, it didn't matter to him, as long as he kept his hands to himself. Yet, those strong manly hands had been laid on his shoulders multiple times, gripping with steady pressure that sent chills down his spine. Those same sturdy hands had nursed black eyes and bloody noses with tenderness. And they'd probably feel amazing to be wrapped up in.

Okay!! So what was the big fucking deal!!? So what if he had a little thing for Tommy Fuckin' Lee. Who didn't? He was simply perfect, with those handsome Greek traits and that smile that made the lower half of his cheeks dimple. When Nikki thought about it, was there really anything wrong with finding another male attractive? No... it was merely an appreciation for the human form. That's all.... as he continued to ignore the fact that his dick was also quite appreciative of that human form, often standing tall to get a better look.