Stay With Me

23. No More Promises

"I guess it didn't work." Steve states while turning away from Juliette, disappointment rolling off of him in waves. The team had walked back in as the 30 minutes were up, following after Dr. Cho. The doctor beams, pleased with the results.

"It did, she heard you. Her brain activity is overwhelming."

Steve covered his face with his hands. "If it worked, why isn't she awake?"

"Maybe she just needs more time Steve." Natasha suggests softly.

The sympathy in her voice makes anger swells in Steve's chest, "She's had enough time!" He shouts. Steve's cool, calming demeanor shatters and he begins to spiral. "What am I supposed to do if she never wakes up? How am I supposed to live if I don't have her? What about me!?" Steve yells as he storms out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him.

"I'll go." Thor states and follows after his Captain. In all honesty, Thor thinks Steve is handling the situation remarkably well considering. If it were him, and he were in Steve position, he'd have lost his mind already. Thor has to admit, he's impressed by Steve's ability to hold it together.

But cracks have started to form in Steve's resolve, huge fissures that threaten to consume Steve if something doesn't change with Juliette soon. The last few days have been too much for the soldier, add in the lack of sleep and food — it's clear now Steve needs Juliette to wake up or his sanity doesn't stand a chance.

Thor finds Steve by the lake, sitting alone on the dock. Steve inhales and drops his head back against the support beam behind him. His body falls dramatically as he sighs an exhale.

Thor holds out a flask for Steve to take, the silver one with the amber Asgardian alcohol that knocks Steve on his ass. He accepts it without hesitation and takes a long pull from the flask. He feels the burn and the effects of the alcohol go straight to his head, he welcomes the numbness. Usually he would pace himself, but not now. Now he wants to feel nothing, depression begins to consume him.

What does he have if he doesn't have Juliette? Steve lifts the flask and takes another pull, longer than the first. His throat works, swallowing through the burning.

"Want to talk about it?" Thor asks, staring out into the water. Steve is silent for a long time, eventually taking a third pull from the flask.

Steve shakes his head. He doesn't even know how to form what he feels into words that make sense. He's scared and angry. He misses her with every fiber of his being. But he's also heartbroken and desperate for her. He's afraid he's losing her forever, and he's sick of people telling him she just needs time. What she needs is him.

And he's angry because all signs point to there being no reason for her to still be asleep accept that she doesn't want to wake up.

"Cap? Sparkles?" Tony yells as he approaches the dock. Steve sighs, not wanting to deal with another person asking if he's alright.

No. I'm not alright!

"Stark." Thor responses, taking the pressure off Steve. "What is it?"

"Julie, she's awake." He beams at Steve.

Steve jumps to his feet. "Son of a bitch!" He yells as he runs past Tony and back into the compound. As if to add insult to injury, now he's pissed she woke up when he wasn't there. He didn't leave her side for days for fear of her waking up without him and now he was too busy wallowing in self pity, getting drunk and his woman is left to wonder if he even wants her.

His promises of never leaving her again are now completely invalid all because he couldn't keep his shit together.

Steve runs through medical, her laugh echoing down the hall driving him to move faster until he skids into her medical bay. He breathes hard, staring at her.