The library was empty, save for the librarian, who scolded and hugged Yujin for suddenly disappearing. It turned out, Yujin owed so many people apologies.
"And this one," Wonyoung said proudly, showing Yujin the log at the back of the heavy book, her name blotted in four times.
"You'll never beat my record," Yujin laughed, squeezing Wonyoung's hand.
"Oh, well," Wonyoung sighed, "I'm graduated now. I've always bested you in grades, though."
They sat together in the library for the final time before Wonyoung had to leave for college.
"Where's your family?"
"I told them I was meeting with friends," she said, waving her phone. "I missed you too much."
"Wonyoung," Yujin lamented, "I'm not a good person."
"You are. You're just a little stupid," Wonyoung said. She let go of Yujin's hand, sick of the way they clasped hands, and intertwined their fingers. "Do you still like me?"
Yujin stayed silent for a moment. Wonyoung worried she'd walk away disappointed again. But Yujin perked up.
"I do like you. More so than ever," she confessed shyly, looking down at their hands.
"Me too," Wonyoung said. "But why'd you go? And where?"
"I just... rotted at home. Gaeul never let me hear the end of it." Yujin couldn't look Wonyoung in the eye. "I missed you. Every day. I know I have no right to, with how I treated you."
"It's been a year and a couple months since you last saw me, and you still like me. Did you dream of me that much?" Wonyoung teased, scooting closer.
Was Yujin always this pretty, with her eyes half lidded?
Was the library always this still?
"I did," Yujin breathed out, and they closed the space between them, Wonyoung's gentle hand cupping her jaw.
.
Yujin screamed all the way home, not ever shutting up about getting a girlfriend. She droned on and on about starting it with their kiss, but Gaeul likes to think it started the first day Wonyoung saw Yujin drawing.
.
As the butterflies returned, the seed of fear and doubt did too. Without Yujin, Wonyoung didn't have to worry about being shunned or ridiculed by her family, by the country, never being able to go out or be together without being given shit for it.
But tonight, they called, the camera set up in front of Yujin's desk, Wonyoung watching her sketch with an oddly sharp graphite pencil.
"I love you," Wonyoung confessed, legs swaying in the air.
"I love you," Yujin giggled. "I work better when you're around."
Those words made Wonyoung's stomach flutter and drop at the same time.
"What if I'm not around one day?" she asked, letting her fear peer through for a moment.
"Why do you say that?"
Wonyoung held her tongue for a second.
"...just kidding."
Yujin was too caught up in her own glee to notice the way Wonyoung talked less after.
.
Two months in and they have their first fight, Yujin running home with tears in her eyes and screaming into Gaeul's arms.
"There, there," Gaeul sighed, "what happened now?"
"She said she wouldn't be there one day because she doesn't know if she'll leave, but why would she? Am I not good enough for her?" Yujin blubbered, shaking in her friend's hold.
"She's just scared, I'm sure," Gaeul said gently.
"What am I doing wrong? I feel like - hic - every time I'm happy and feel like it's okay, she says she doesn't deserve me and then she doesn't wanna do anything."
Gaeul handed Yujin a fresh tissue.
"Am I not doing well?" Yujin cried. "I'm not enough, am I?"
Gaeul grabbed her face with both hands and looked her in the eye.
"Ahn Yujin, you apologise every single day for how you got scared and dropped out in high school. Big deal. You were quite literally only 15."
"Still," Yujin groaned, sitting back on her heels and taking breaths.
"I really want to make this work, Gaeul," she sobbed.
"It will work. If she leaves, that's on her."
That was the wrong thing to say at the moment. Yujin cried louder.
.
"Why do you still hang out with Yujin?"
"Because she's my friend, umma," Wonyoung retorted, a little more aggressively than usual.
"Is there anything going on between you two? She looks a little..."
Wonyoung scoffed.
"Don't speak to your mother that way."
"Pa, she's just my friend. You have nothing to worry about, and she's not like that."
Her sister side-eyed her without saying a word. Although she defended Yujin to hell and back, she felt sick, wrong about what they had.
Maybe I'm not good for Yujin after all.
.
The next day, they hung out, finally free from the shackles of high school.
It was nice, walking together in an almost empty park. Wonyoung rubbed Yujin's knuckles with her thumb as they held hands.
A bird chirped overhead Yujin, divebombing for a dropped ice cream cone. Her attention diverted towards a bell singing a robotic jingle in the distance. She pointed it out enthusiastically, tugging Wonyoung towards the site.
A few children crowded around an elderly man who sat on a large stone brick. He had a ppopki set beside him.
Yujin guessed that's what they were there for.
"Hey," Wonyoung said, pointing towards a cooler with a surface decorated with tattered stickers worn from condensation. "Ice cream."
"Oh, right!" Yujin exclaimed, forgetting what she'd come here for.
The old man opened up the cooler, revealing mini tubs of different ice creams. There was a cream-coloured ice cream with chunks in it she couldn't identify. Wonyoung got that in a cone while she got an orange popsicle.
They sat in the shade of a wider tree so the ice cream wouldn't melt as quickly.
"What's that?" Yujin asked, curious about the mystery flavour.
"Macadamia white chocolate," Wonyoung beamed.
"Ah." Yujin opened her mouth. Getting the hint, Wonyoung chuckled and let her have a lick.
"So what do you think? I like this one the best. I didn't think I'd find it in a vendor cooler."
"It's as sweet as you!" Yujin giggled, pressing a kiss to her lips.
