On the eleventh month, it all fell apart.
Exams, constant quizzes, teachers Wonyoung hated, the stress of her parents catching onto what Yujin meant to her, the weight of every new intrusive possibility her brain conjured up putting impossible pressure on her shoulders. It all made her dizzy.
But Yujin made her dizzier. The older girl was never phased no matter what, whether Wonyoung kept things to herself or shut herself away from her, always at her side when she wasn't creating. And no one ever told her to do it.
Yujin hated the idea of hanging out with people out of habit and history rather than genuinely enjoying their company. And Yujin being Yujin, Wonyoung was forced to see it from her view, strictly from the mind, barring away her heart.
Ahn Yujin was at Jang Wonyoung's side because she wanted it.
She chose who she wanted to be with.
Unfortunately, Yujin couldn't choose who wanted to be with her.
.
The sky outside was orange and pink, casting shadows onto Wonyoung's bed.
Wonyoung seemed to cry a lot lately.
"Am I bad for you?" Yujin asked softly, massaging circles into Wonyoung's knuckles.
"No."
"Then why do you always tell me you'll leave?"
It was true. Wonyoung knew she'd leave someday, but it'd always be her own fault. Her own cowardice.
"Yujin, I can't do this anymore," she started.
"It's just too much."
Yujin dropped her hand, her own fingers suddenly growing cold. The blood drained from her face.
"What?"
"You know what you're doing in life. I don't. I don't have a special interest and I'm not good at anything-"
Desperation made Yujin rear up, frightening Wonyoung. "That's not true-"
"Yujin, please. I don't want- I can't do this anymore. I'll- I do hold you back."
"You won't, I've done so much with you by my side, why- why are you doing this so suddenly?"
"Because I can't take it anymore! You know who you are, and you're great; you're such an amazingly talented and pretty girl! But I don't fuckin' know what I'm gonna do other than get married to some guy in the future and be miserable to please my family! I hate it all, all of this!" Wonyoung blurted out, tears falling.
"You hurt me, and I hurt you too much."
Wonyoung's words hung in the air. With tears in her own eyes, Yujin nodded.
"Let's break up, Yujin."
Yujin bit her tongue. She gave in to Wonyoung, as she always did, even if she felt her composure cracking down the middle like a dry bone. There was no use in retaliating with Wonyoung.
"Okay. Take care, Wonyoung."
"Yujin," Wonyoung whimpered out as a last resort as Yujin turned to leave.
"I'm sorry, Wonyoung," Yujin said.
I love you was what Wonyoung wanted to say, desperately.
But Yujin was already gone, the window shut behind her as a final act of courtesy.
