Strings | Jikook |

30

"You shine bright, tonight."

-

After the incident on the roof, Jungkook found himself disgusted with every glance he took in the mirror. His eyes looked tired, his smile was ingenuine, and his face was lifeless. With the scary amount of alcohol he's been drinking and the habit of smoking only growing- the boy looked sickly. However, his new friend Joy and occasional party animals that would act like they gave a shit- simply supported his new behavior. 

Jungkook was growing in a sea as people simply watched, far too afraid of getting wet than saving him. 

"Don't be such a fucking prude, " Joy found Jungkook on the rooftop that night.

That night, the boy was laying back against the roof and simply looked up at the moon. No one had seen him for nearly two hours and Joy was concerned by the lack of body shots or make-outs he was taking part in.

So here she was encouraging the others to come back down and party like they always do.

It's as if that's all they know how to do.

"Leave me alone Joy," Jungkook sounded exhausted as he chugged down his last can of beer and paid no mind to the girl.

The girl groaned in annoyance and began to scold him, "If you don't get your shit together everyone's going to think you're just a lowlife drunk. I'm not putting my reputation on the line for you."

In response, Jungkook simply scoffed. In a calm voice, he replied, "Stop acting like we're fucking friends. Like I said, leave me alone."

"I am your friend asshole-" She protested before being cut off.

"If you were my friend Joy you never would have fucking taken me to that party." Jungkook now glanced over at her, he looked empty as his face was expressionless.

The girl's brows furrowed as she argued back, "I'm not to blame-"

"We both are." Jungkook now gave a sarcastic chuckle. "I mean, who the fuck takes an alcoholic to a party and what idiot agrees to go to a party with his ex..."

Joy yanked the can of beer from Jungkook's grasp and held it before him. "You aren't a fucking alcoholic stop being dramati-"

"I can't seem to remember the last time I was sober, as a matter of fact, I haven't even attended my lectures since that party." The raven-haired boy sighed. He wasn't sad or mad- at least he couldn't express it as his body felt numb. He felt like an empty body simply existing in this mess. 

Reaching out and grabbing the can back Jungkook took a sip before looking over to Joy once more.

"If you are my friend, then you aren't a very good one. I don't blame you, I mean I'm a shitty friend too. A friend... wouldn't have stood by and watched me ruin the one good thing I had in my life...They were good friends." Jungkook thought back to the dozens of fights he had with his Hyungs in regard to his behavior and sudden bad habits. They tried waking him up yet he never did listen. "I'm an idiot. An idiot with shitty friends that can't handle his liquor without fucking up his life."

"Jungkook-"

"You know what's funny Joy? I told myself I would never be like my dad. I watched him destroy himself and those around him in the process. I would always tell myself 'When he's holding a beer, just imagine he's a stranger.' because he would become a completely different person. " Jungkook chewed on his lower lip as his eyes began to grow glossy. Taking a deep breath the boy spoke softly. "Yet here I am... completely lost. I can't even recognize myself. All I see in the mirror is a fucking mess." His voice trembled before his hand tightly grasped the aluminum can in his hand, crushing it beneath his grasp. With all his strength the boy tossed the half-filled can into the night before quickly whipping the few tears that managed to escape.