My lord || ThomaTo

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        Chapter ten (10)

(A/n: me and my friend again 😔 we took about 10 million tries getting the picture right and in the end I didn't even get one, so this is one she took 🤨 BUT WE HIT 5K READS. tysm this is so cool I literally don't know what to say SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING IVE BEEN SO BUSY 💯)

Thoma POV:
"Oh. Hello Itto." Ayato sighs. He looks like he's about to cry for some reason.

"I've missed you bro! Why weren't you replying to my letters?! I was scared dude." Itto whines.

"Well, uh, I- didn't get them?" Ayato replies.

He had received the letters. All 108 of them. To be fair, most of the letters were only a single sentence, but still, he binned them all after reading:
Hey bro, are you gay? Because Yoimiya told me that-

And for some reason the letter ended there.

"How! I made sure to send them to the estate, with your name on them and everything! You can't have been THAT busy. Oh actually come to think of it, when I got here Ayaka was telling me that yesterday you and-"

"I didn't say anything..." Ayaka goes red and turns away.

"What a traitor." Ayato sighs, and shakes his head.

"So it's true then, huh." Itto scratches the back of his neck.

"What's true?" I ask him.

"Oh, you know, about you and my bro, like.. being.. a couple." He says.

"Ayaka, just what did you tell him?" Ayato asks, but Ayaka hides her face and doesn't reply.

Itto stares at me and Ayato, then bursts out crying.

"WHYYYY? WHY CANT I BE HAPPYY!? WHY AM I DOOMED TO BE SINGLE FOREVERRR?!" Itto falls to his knees and sobs.

"Hm, i wonder why that is." Ayato huffs.

Itto doesn't hear his comment, as he's still rolling around on the floor crying his eyes out.

"Fine. I didn't think I'd have to resort to this today but," Ayato pulls out something from his sleeve. It's a box, nearly the size of his head.

"How did that..? Nevermind." Yoimiya sighs.

"Itto, here." Ayato hands the box over.

Itto wipes his eyes.

"What.. is it?" He asks.

"You'll see."

"Okay, thank you."

He opens the lid of the box to reveal the biggest onikabuto I have ever seen, like the size of that thing should not be scientifically possible.

"Wait. Is this real..." Itto pokes the beetle and it scurries to the other side of the box super fast, which to be fair is only half a centimetre away.

"Yeah it's real." Ayato sighs.

Everyone stares at the beetle In shock. It's nearly as big as the box it was in, which again, was the size of a head.

Itto just stares at it with his eyes open for a minute.

"Uh, Itto, are you alright?" I ask him.

And then he bursts out crying again.

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Ayato POV:
I cannot believe this guy. A fully grown man crying about a pet bug like a little child. I hate to admit it, but I spent hours looking for that bug, the fact he's so happy makes me smile.

"Bro, thank you so much." He sighs, and tackles me in a massive hug.

"No...problem." I manage to let out just those two words due to being choked by Itto.

Everyone laughs for a while, and we manage to order our food and eat in the end.

- timeskip -

⚠️ self harm ⚠️

(A/n: I actually don't know what else to write about so please leave more suggestions for chapters 😭 but this next part is mainly (kinda) based off a suggestion @Jayusm9 gave, so thank you 🤨)

I haven't felt this bad in over a week. Im not sure why it's happening now, with my friends laughing around me. I know I should be proud of myself, but I can't stop my mind from sticking to the fact that all good things must come to an end.

I suppose it's the same with bad things, but for some reason my head doesn't seem to understand that.

Surely, one more cut couldn't hurt, right?

When we get back to the estate, the first thing I do is make up an excuse and walk up to my room by myself.

I open my drawer.

Of course.

Thomas thrown out all the blades.

I can't be mad at him, I would have done the same thing in his situation, but this means I only have one left.

I go to my cupboard and open up the secret compartment. The blade is there alright, but from being here all these years it's gotten pretty rusty, I shouldn't use it.

But it's like an addiction. I pick up the blade and take it to the side of my lower arm, rolling up my sleeve in order to make it easier to access.

I sigh, I feel like I've failed again. I slit my skin as I drag it horizontally across the side of my arm without the vein, but I'm not able to get deep at all because someone walks in.

"My Lord."

"Thoma."

"Oh god, oh." Thoma sighs, his eyes filling with tears.

He runs over to me and pulls my head into his chest. He cries a little, and wraps his arms around me.

"Why? I thought you were okay now? Where did you get the blade? Why didn't you talk to me..."

Why does he always have to see. He always has to walk in on me. For the first time in my life, I'm mad at Thoma. But if I can get him to hate me, I can end my life without feeling bad.

I stand up, pushing him off of me.

"Do you know HOW hard it is to talk to someone? Why would I talk to YOU?" I shout at him, without thinking.

He looks up at me, tear streaks visible down his face.

"What..are you talking about?"

He turns away.

"I've done everything for you, please, at least try to understand, I want to save you." He sobs.

"I DIDNT ASK YOU TO HELP! you're not saving ANYONE!" I hardly ever raise my voice, but I just can't stand it.

"My lord, I-"

"Thoma. Get out."

He covers his mouth and sobs more, storming out of the room.

I wipe a tear out of my eye.

Next, Ayaka.

I'm sorry.

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(A/n: 💪 muahahahahha Angst I love writing sad stuff. Anyways again I'm SO SO SORRY that I HAVENT WRITTEN GUYS FORGIVE ME 😔)