Me and My 100 Fantasies with Him

Fantasy 4: Valentine's Day (Part II)

It's recess time and my mind is full thinking about the contents of the letter that was on my desk. His initial is my only clue. Tsaka, Love daw?

Heh. Inuuto ako nito.

Yes po, uto uto ako.

Okay lang ba mag-assume na si Theo 'yon? Are we close to that end of the world that I have mentioned?

Nandito ako sa labas ng room namin sa hallway. Habang nag-iisip ako kung sino yung naglagay ng rosas 'dun, naririnig ko yung hindi matapos tapos na mga tilian. Hayaan na natin sila, kaligayahan nila 'yan.

Taga-sana all na lang mga single na kagaya ko. Ano pa bang bago. Sixteen years na'ko walang kasintahan. Pano ba magfirst move?

Just kidding.

May hiya pa naman ako. Hangga't walang sign, patuloy tayo sa pagdaydream.

Pero aaminin ko, masaya magkacrush sa lalaking alam mong wala kang pag-asa. Well, para sa'kin. Masaya na ako sa tuwing tahimik ko siyang minamasdan sa malayo.

Sometimes, kapag may program sa school, maswerte ako kasi naririnig ko siya kumanta. His voice is cool and relaxing. Swerte ng haharanahin nito. I even have the videos of him, singing on stage. It's something that I can't bring myself to delete.

"Yani? Iniisip mo kung sino naglagay noh?" Tanong ni Kylie, nasa likod ko nakaupo kapag klase.

"I'll be lying if I said no." Sabi ko. Kasi naman, why didn't he put his first name. He left me wondering tuloy.

"Actually, alam ko kung sino naglagay 'dun. I was there when he entered." Sabi niya at agad naman ako napatingin sa kanya.

"For real?" Panigurado ko.

"Yep." She answered while nodding.

"Sino?" Tanong ko. She just looked at me. Tinitigan niya lang ako nang ilang segundo bago sumagot.

"Girl, you sure you want to know?" On the back of my mind, a thought appeared.

Are you ready to be disappointed?

The thought hit me and I ended up staying quiet for a minute. Mahirap din maging assuming 'no. Series of what-if questions flooded my head

What if it wasn't Theo?

What if it was Theo?

Two thoughts collided.

"Hmm, 'wag na lang. Malalaman ko rin naman mamaya." Sabi ko saka ngumiti.

"I see. A great future awaits you." I looked at her and chuckled.

"Are you a grandma?" Tanong ko. That phrase, I often hear it from my grandparents. Kung hindi naman, siguro, manghuhula?

"Hindi!" I laughed when she exclaimed.

***

My heart has been pounding ever since I took a step out of our classroom. Mabagal lang ang paglakad ko. Meron pa ring bumubulong sa'kin na 'wag pumunta. Sa kabila naman ay dapat pumunta ako.

Tell me, may munting anghel at demonyo ba sa gilid ko na bumubulong kung ano dapat kong gawin?

No point in thinking, mas lalo lang akong kakabahan. Pinagsadaan ko na lang ng tingin ang school grounds. Marami pa rin akong mga lalaking nakikita na may hawak na bulaklak.

Boys, kung gusto niyo na kayo naman makakuha ng chocolate kapag valentines, punta kayo ng Japan. Swerte mo kung bigyan ka ng honmei chocolate.