BREATHING

I

I have decided to make my life a moving piece of art. Make my life my own masterpiece; a moving, breathing... Piece of work that my puzzle piece fits into. I love myself.

I am no longer here to be right or just a good girl or a perfect daughter; I am here to fuck up and make mistakes and live outside the bounds that this world has told me. I choose myself.

I am here to bend and to break. I am here to completely unravel, make art with what I have lost in the shedding of my skin. I almost hate everything, so I love me.

I am taking a new road because the one I have been on for 23 some years is dying, but the good news is I am not dying on it. I am still alive, I am still here.

I am here to live and if the road I am on doesn't know how to carry me; if the road I am walking can't hold my weight, then it's not my fault, fuck the road. I am good.

I am not enlightening my load so the pavement can't feel me, I'll keep my sturdy step and take my feet to another route; to one that holds my weight and responds my rhythm.

And if I can't find one; if there's no road built for me or for you or for us, then I'll make one.

I will pave a road strong enough for all of me, colorful and bright enough for all of us. Sheltered with trees for safety and lines with loving affirmations along the way.

Wooden post signs is keep reminding me, you and us that this road is just as worthy of walking which we are not fit on the old road anymore. I built me.

On the one that misunderstands me and ask me to stay small, to keep my voice down, to dim my own light; on the one that ridicules me no matter how hard I try to stay within the lines...

And instead of trying so hard to shrink me so that I can fit into a death forest that doesn't want me, I am finding a new soil to step my foot on. I keep going...

and I am staying, but not on this road;

I AM STAYING ME

I AM STAYING FULL

I AM STAYING LOUD

I AM STAYING BIG

I AM STAYING SHINE

I AM STAYING STRONG

I AM STAYING THIS WAY

AND...

I AM STAYING ALIVE