INSECURITIES.

CHAPTER 32

17th December 2021

Jasmine's POV

I'm really going to tell my story one day. I'm going to advise young teenagers and tell them never to like someone to the extent of getting attached to them. I'm going to tell them not to make a boy their "world" at a very young age.

I'm going to tell them to stay very far away from toxic relationships. I'm going to tell them not to stay up till 3am, chatting and smiling all in the name of love because one day, that smile will turn into tears. Plenty tears. I'm going to use myself as an example. I fell in love with somebody I knew I could never have. And the fact that everything I do reminds me of him is just so frustrating. The memories we shared in the past are hunting me presently.

Whenever I listen to my old songs, I remember him. Whenever the songs he used to sing for me comes up on the TV or anywhere, I remember him. Whenever I'm hungry in the middle of the night and I tell Tokyo that I want to make cocopops, I remember that it used to be him. Whenever I'm  walking alone on the road, I remember when it used to be US. I remember the looks he gets from those girls who were probably crushing on him but couldn't have him because they all thought I was his.

Whenever a white lexus car drives by, I think it's him because he has a similar car to theirs. Whenever I put on some certain clothes, I remember when I used to put them on to visit him, Everything.
All the memories we shared just keeps hunting every action I take.

"Jasmine!" I hear my mum yell from the other end of the room.
Who knows how long she has been calling me?

"Ma?" I respond before quickly rushing down to meet her.

"What were you doing?" She asks as I get to her.

"Nothing," I respond swiftly.

She scans me from head to toe before finally speaking.

"Go and dress up and go to Mrs. Johnson's house for me. Give her these materials and tell her the styles you want to sew for Christmas," my mum says.

Oh God.
Why?
Just tell me why.
Why Mrs Johnson's house?

Mrs Johnson is our Fashion designer and she stays really close to Dave. Like you literally have to pass Dave's house before you get to her house. I hate things like this. Who in the world still wears Christmas clothes self?

My mummy Just has her own in her body.

"Madam can you hear me?" My mum asks, bringing my spirit, soul and body back to the present.

"Yes Ma," I reply before heading back to my room to get dressed.

I scan my wardrobe, thinking about what to put on. I'm quite confused because I have a lot of clothes. Not to brag, but my mum just likes to take good care of her only child.

Sometimes I wish I had siblings tho. Maybe if I did then I wouldn't be so lonely. But sometimes when I hear my classmates complain about how annoying their siblings are, I thank God I'm the only child. God I think I'm the most lonely girl on earth. I don't even have friends. Well except from Tokyo.

And Kali.

And Ryan.

And Drey.

I'm most definitely not even adding Alexander's name.
And josephine. She's not a friend, she's an acquaintance. We legit don't know anything about each other. I mean, she doesn't even know I'm heartbroken as the case may be.

The sound of a door closing brings me back to the present. God, I think too much. I had even stopped searching for what to wear for a minute.

But why Mrs Johnson's house?
I feel like I will see him.
God I pray I don't see him.
My heart is already pounding in my Chest.