I feel like my brain is a little fishbowl of thoughts; it's so small and the same things are just floating around all day until they're taken out or I refresh my fishbowl water entirely. Even then, the thoughts find their way back in.
I am honestly so sick of being stuck, as if I'm a tiny little fish that everyone expects to be okay with a tiny little fishbowl but I'm not. I'm a tiny little fish that wants to explore coral reefs and meet other tiny little fish. All I can see in there is glass and rocks; barriers.
So, in my fishbowl of tiny little thoughts, I float there with them. I float there and I watch them swim by, morphing, changing, multiplying. On a good day, they'll stay out of my way, they'll float in their own space and not invade mine. On bad days, they'll attack me, they'll swarm me and they'll suck the life out of me.
I want to leave that fishbowl behind. I want to get out and not have to worry about dodging my thoughts. I want to leave and never be back there again. I need space to move, to swim, to make my own thought-free environment. A pacific ocean for a fish that always belonged there.
But for now, I'll have to sit tight in a lonely, desolate fishbowl. Waiting for the first breath of agonising water into my lungs.
[image credit unknown]