Every Girl's Dream

Chapter 1

The Encounter of you and Him

Remembering how we meet, looks like I'm the one who always notice everything about you.
I know those girls who likes you. I know if someone wants to know you.
I know if something happens to you.

It looks like you've been part of me.
Maybe because there's something between us.
(That you didn't even know.)
I don't know what I'm feeling towards you.
If I tell you something would listen?

I always update my friend everything I noticed from you.
I try to think that my friends are those who has crush on you, I don't want to admit it to myself.
Looks like I can't until I get the assurance that I want.
So if you're wondering how me meet? I meet you already yet we didn't greet it other.
In other words, we never say hi or hello. Sometimes you look like aloof when you're alone. But it doesn't change the fact that I like you.
At a young age I never been in relationships with boys, the relationship I had is with my Lolo, Uncles, brothers and cousins. I may always one of the boys, I like there vibes than those girls who are full of dramas.
I like to hangout with the guys, if I have someone that I can feel secure and safety.
But now as I'm praying to, for, and with you, it teaches me on how I can see the soul of you.

Lately i've been through a lot of things that made stress. And I think it leads to something deeper, like anxiety attack and depression.
That's why I'm taking care of my mental health, by keeping my peace of mind than to argue things with people.
I'm pleasure to know in my own ways.
Like no one can beat my skills of investigation.

I don't have a boyfriend yet, to share it, but I'm thankful that I have a friend that I can chat or send a message right away.

Right now, I have so many boy or guy friend since I can't remember.
(Don't call me malandi without knowing the whole story. It's just my nature to be closer with the guys than gals, but I also have girl friends, I categories them as friends (common friends/within my circle of friends), close friends and best friends (that I count with my fingers).

As I become active to my organization, I meet new friends, but someone caught my attention is this young boy.
From my community, as I heard from the other youths, he looked like he never takes seriously about church things or I can say that he act like a cool kid.
Then we get along together with our common friends, chatting almost everyday, teasing me and the youths in the our group chat.

This is how our conversation goes by:

mentioning my name to our group chat and sending a photo

At first, I didn't know girl in the picture, but as time pass by, I remember someone that looks like her.

Last night, I can't stop thinking about him, looks like something telling me that I need to know him more, to feed my curiosity. I'm asking him random things and telling him harsh words about him.
I don't like what I'm feeling towards him. He's the one that I can't have and I don't want make issues and rumors about us. So as my ways of forgetting about him, I blocked his account and doesn't want to talk to him for 24 hours, so by that time, I want to distract my self from anything.
As I'm thinking about, I already wrote a poems about our tragic story, so here is it:
"The way you tell your dirty jokes feels like you want to flirt with me.
That's what I think about you, you can make me laugh by telling jokes and teasing me.
Maybe I'm starting to like you yet I want to protect my heart from pains.
"You keep me like a secret but I keep you like an oath".

Why I'm feeling this emotions, I shouldn't feel this way,
I know we can't be together yet looks like something telling me that I need this experience.
I can't believe that even in my dreams your haunting me.
Ahhhhh I hate this feeling, I can't believe to myself, that I'm longing for your attention everytime that you can't reply right away.
Yet you still reply even it's late. Awwww I like that feeling, I can see that you care, maybe could you care my feelings?
I'm starting to like you yet I don't want to fall to you.
So I need to get away from you.
I need to blocked you and let myself be busy with my passion,
May you support me or not,
I don't care I long as I will sing with my whole heart
It'll be alright
I need you to know,
That the songs I chose,
Is for you.
May you feel the melodies,
The rhythm of my heart
The sadness in my voice,
The longing that I'm keeping to myself
I will start to move on
Even without you knowing it
I like to protect my myself
From painful thinking that you already have someone to called to
When you're done with your family matters
I learned my lesson from you
Keeping it to myself won't help me to heal
But telling it to you won't heal my wounds."

Thanks for reading. I appreciate it if you would write a comment about it. And asked me anything.

P.S. looks like I got the inspiration from the movie or book entitled To All Boys I Love Before.