In my Life

Chapter VIII

POV BARRY:

I admit I was quite confused by what happened this afternoon. When I saw Caitlin walk into the jewelry store, I was scared that she was putting her life on the line for me, but at the same time, a little part of me was glad that she was willing to do it, because that meant that she liked me. However, as she approached, I realized that this was not Caitlin Snow, but a version of her.

- Caitlin?

"Not precisely dear." "Caitlin" said.

- Who are you? And what happened to Caitlin? - I asked as I got up from the floor.

- All you need to know for now is that I saved your life. Oh and my name is Killer Frost! - "Caitlin" said and then left the jewelry store.

Shortly after Killer Frost left my edge, Caitlin appeared and gave me a big hug. At this moment I didn't want to let go of her but I knew that there were three people next to us, two of them needed to be seen by the paramedics to see if everything was okay, so we let go.

However, all the questions I had to ask Caitlin about what had just happened were still in my head, but I could tell from her face that the timing was probably not right, so I put the questions aside, but never leaving my mind.

I noticed that during the afternoon she pretended that everything was fine, but if someone looked at her very closely, you would see that she was worried and looked quite confused. From her body expression, I don't think she even realizes what happened in that jewelry store. However, my concern for her and my curiosity were stronger, so after dinner I went over to her house to see how she was doing.

- Barry? What are you doing here? Did something happen?

- I was worried about you so I thought I'd better come check on you. How are you?

- Honestly not very well. I don't know what to think about what happened today.

- Do you want to talk about it? You know some people say I'm a good listener.

"I bet so." Caitlin said smiling. "Come in! I'll get myself a coffee, do you want it?

- Yes, if it's not too much trouble.- she said and I went to seat on her couch while she went to the kitchen.

"Here you go." Caitlin said, handing me a cup of coffee. "I don't even know where to start. From what I understand, this is after my conversation with Killer Frost, it seems my father, when I was younger, found out that I had inherited his disease, ALS. To save me, he began performing experiments of cryogenic gene therapies on me in an attempt to freeze the disease, just as he had done with himself. While the experiments were successful, I began exhibiting a dual personality, a Killer Frost.

- And you didn't know about your personality? I mean, she was literally sharing her body with you.

- No, apparently the first time she manifested was when I fell off my bike and a car came at high speed towards me. However, I was so shocked looking into the mirror of my bike that my brain ended up suppressing memories of the accident and the existence of the other personality.

- And she didn't try to manifest more times? I mean, she's been trapped inside your body for many years.

- From what she says, no. She was afraid of my reaction to seeing her.

- And why did she only show up today? Why not in another dangerous situation?

- I think it was because of my feeling of inadequacy. When I saw you lying on the floor trying to protect those people and at the same time recover from the attack, I felt useless. I wanted so badly to help you, but I couldn't because if I went there, I would put you in more danger because you would have one more person to save. So I watched through the window feeling really bad, that's when my eyes and my hair started to change color.

- And were you aware of what was happening at that moment when she was in charge of your body?

- Yes, I could see and hear everything. But you know what scares me the most about this situation? It's just that I liked feeling powerful, feeling able to help someone.

- You don't have to blame yourself for enjoying having powers. You know I like to have mine, but that doesn't make me a bad person. It's the way you use these new abilities that define who you are and I know, deep in my heart, that you, Caitlin Snow, are the best person I know.

- Do you really think that?

- I'm 100% sure.- I said smiling, but only now I managed to think of the name. I think I recognize Killer Frost's name from somewhere, but I can't remember where.

- What is up? You have that expression that something is troubling you.

- I could swear that the name Killer Frost is not strange to me.

- It's normal, she has a longer criminal history than STAR Labs.

- She's a villain? And won't she hurt you? Not that you're not capable of defending yourself, but I mean, you're in the same body.

- She told me no.

- And do you believe her?

- Strangely yes, I also think that if she wanted to hurt me, she would have done it a long time ago.

-That's true, but promise me that you'll be careful. And that you talk to me in case something is wrong.

- I promise, but I need you to promise me something too.

- Anything you need.

- Promise me that you won't tell anyone about Killer Frost, especially Cisco and Dr. Wells. I want to be the one to tell them the story, but I'm not ready to do it yet.

- I understand and of course I'll keep it a secret. Well, I didn't even notice the hours passed, I think I'd better leave, because soon we have to be in STAR Labs again.

- You can stay here! - Caitlin exclaimed quickly. - I know sleeping on the couch is not the most comfortable thing in the world, but...

- I'll stay!

I quickly realized that Caitlin's suggestion was more of a request of sorts, as I could see that she was terrified of being alone after what happened this afternoon. And to tell you the truth, I didn't mind at all staying here, in fact I was even more relaxed, because in case she needed anything, I was here to help her.

But what I didn't count on was that during my stay here, I would have a surprise visit. It was five in the morning when I woke up wanting to go to the bathroom and when I came back I had Caitlin, or rather Killer Frost waiting for me.

"I knew Caitlin wouldn't take long to tell you about me and our story. And no, don't worry, I won't do her any harm. She's safe with me! In fact, I can protect her better than you.

- Well, I have my doubts.

- I know I have a bit of a violent background, but I'm not as bad a person as people think. But I know that in time you will realize that. Well I'm going to let you sleep now, by the way I'm tired after all the action I had today.- Killer Frost said getting up from the couch.

- Killer Frost.- I said and she turned to me. - Thank you for saving my life yesterday.

- You do not need to thank me.

I'll admit that after this conversation, I realize the confusion that Caitlin has inside her head, because even though we know Killer Frost is a villain, the way she talks about Caitlin is a protective way and I deeply believe she won't hurt her.