Lost, peace, soulmate

New mindset

Arianna's POV

After watching my soulmate work for a while and enjoying the calming silence, I wandered to his bookcase. I glanced at the titles and noticed that he has a varied reading mindset.There are multiple genres and a few of the writers I love. I try to recall if we discussed books we liked, but don't believe that we had. After 30 minutes of attempting to read, I decided I have too much energy to sit; so I headed to go explore Hybe for a bit. After writing Yoongi a quick note, I left the studio.

I walked around for a while and noticed a sign that said Rkive. I stopped and wondered if he was done with his meetings. I decided to knock and see if he was in. After a few knocks and no answer, I shrugged my shoulders and moved on. As I rounded the corner of the hallway I bump into Hobi. He grabs me before I can fall to the ground and makes sure I'm stable before letting go.

"Where are you off to? I figured Hyung would have you locked away in the studio." Hobi inquired

" Nope" I say laughing " He warned me he would be in a zone and said I could explore if I got bored. I have way too much energy to be sitting around and reading like he offered."

" Well I was gonna go film some Hope on the Street, wanna come watch?" He asks

I stand there in shock and squeal "really?"

"Of course, I do better when I can see someone enjoying my dance. Let's go!!!!" He says excitedly

I follow him to the dance practice room that I remember Bang pointing out and go with Hobi through the door. He takes me to a chair to sit in and I ask "can I lean against the mirror instead, I'm kinda tired of sitting in a chair?"

"Of course you can, here let me show you where the best spot would be so that you can see everything, but not get caught by the camera." He says

I follow him to where he recommends sitting and watch as he gets everything ready to go. I can see he is brimming with excitement and I am happy watching his glow.

He begins to dance and I sit there in shock and awe. I've seen him through the concert and videos, but it's totally different seeing it in person. The energy he radiates can be felt even though he is not my soulmate. Our fandom calling him our sunshine seems very fitting. I see him glance at me and he smirks upon seeing my expression. I'm a captivated by his dancing and don't really notice when he stops and drops next to me.

"Did I break you?" He asks waving a hand in my face. I jump back in suprise and laugh nervously "Uhm... no, at least I don't think so!! I cannot understand how you move like that!!" I reply

"Well I could teach you if you want. I love showing people new ways to express themselves." He states

" I could never........" I start to say, but thinking back on my resolve to not let others control me, I say " I would love that. I wanted to take dance classes for fun a long time ago, but David said it was a waste of money. So I didn't."

" Waste of money? Why would he...... never mind. So we agree, I'm gonna to teach you some dance moves and if you really want to join a class for fun, I have some great recommendations!!" He says

" Really?!?! I'd like to go to class, just for the sake of having fun, but I'm kinda scared to embarrass myself in front of you. I mean, have you seen you?" I ask

He begins to laugh so hard that he is rolling on the floor. After he calms down he says "have I seen me? The real question is have you seen you? You are beautiful and my Hyung is very lucky. Besides what is the point of being friends if you can't have fun and embarrass yourself in front of each other. I'm very good about embarrassing myself."

"Okay, I'm gonna do it!! Another decision that will be for me. Just don't go all dance god on me, I have seen videos of you when the guys mess up. You get scary." I say

" I won't, we are just gonna dance for fun!! But I have a question, what do you mean another decision for you?" Hobi asks

I look at him and remember that I haven't told all the guys what is going on with my life, just Joon and Bang. As I go to tell him my story, the door opens up.

"Hey Hobi, have you seen.... Oh there you are Ari!! I want you to see my studio!! Can I steal you from our sunshine?" Joon asks

"Of course" I turn to Hobi and give him a surprise hug. "Thank you for the dance. I cannot wait to make fun of ourselves together"

He hugs me back and once he releases me, I turn to Joon. He waved to Hobi and guides me out the door.

" You look much more happier than you did this morning. What all has you smiling?" He asks as we sit in his studio

I look at Joon and decid to let him in on the choice's I finally made. " Well, I spent sometime with my soulmate and the sunshine" I say jokingly

" It's more than that, you seem very at peace with something." Joon states

" Maybe because for the first time in weeks I feel at peace. I didn't realize it at first, but standing there next to Han River during our run and watching the sunrise, I felt truly home. I have decided I want to stay here and will need to get with Bang to find out how. I've decided that I no longer want decisions made for me, that I want control of my life. I may not have realized it until I arrived, but I'm tired. Tired of feeling down, faking my happiness, and like I'm not enough. I want to do things that I decide make me happy and take back control to find out who I truly am." I state to Joon

I can see his smile getting bigger and bigger as I go through my speech until both his dimples are showing deep. "Finally! You decided to stay home!! My Hyung is going to be so happy and excited!!!" Joon says as he jumps around in joy.

" He will probably be happy that I am staying, but Joon I have to be honest. I'm not ready for a romantic relationship. I want to build on the friendships that I have seem to started, but I think I should find and be happy with myself before even thinking about dating Yoongi. My only fear is he will get tired of waiting for me" I say

"I don't think you will have to worry about that. He is the most patient of us all. I'm happy to hear you want to find a new, improved you. I know of 6 others who will want to help you discover, or rediscover who you are. Just know I stand by what I said this morning, you are enough and we can tell you daily if you need it." He answered

I feel better putting out in the open and talking to Joon. " Now the hard part, what does it take to stay?" I ask

" Looks like it's time to let Bang in on your decision!"