You Make Me Live (Remus Lupin x Reader One-Shots)

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

(Remus admits to some anxiety about his relationship with y/n. Very short.)

It was nearly three in the morning by the time I crept into bed, being careful not to wake my peacefully sleeping husband. Sensing my movement, Remus rolled over and wrapped me in his arms. I pressed my back into the warmth of his chest as his chin slid over my shoulder.
"You came home," he murmured, half-awake.
"What?" I replied, incredulous, but he was already fast asleep. I fell into an uneasy rest shortly thereafter, still confused by his words of apparent relief.

I slept in that morning, and when I stumbled down the stairs in search of him, he was busy at the stove. The smell of vanilla and chocolate filled the air. Pancakes, a standard weekend breakfast for us when we weren't working, but today felt different. When I snuck up behind him, he had nearly doubled the usual amount of chocolate chips, he had hulled and halved strawberries, made whipped cream, and poured all of the pancakes into little hearts. I wrapped my arms around his waist, feeling his ribs through his thin t-shirt. He raised his left arm and pulled me to his side while he flipped the cakes with his right.

"Hello," he smiled down at me, a small dimple forming near his jaw. I kissed it.

"Good morning, my love." I leaned my head against his shoulder and took a deep breath of chocolate-scented air. "This looks amazing."

"Hm. No more than you deserve." His voice was still warm as always but somewhat passive, mechanical. He piled the pancakes onto two plates, scattered them with strawberries and dolloped whipped cream onto each. He moved to the kitchen table, and I followed him, doggedly seeking answers. When we sat down, I watched him eat like I was studying him. He didn't seem to notice that my eyes were on him. I guessed it was up to me to bring the subject up.

"You said something in your sleep last night." I tried to sound conversational.

"Nothing too embarrassing, I hope?" he smiled wryly.

"When I got back, you said 'you came home.'"

"Did I? Guess I was just happy you were here."

"Yeah." I finished the pancake I was eating before pressing the issue, "It just sounded like you weren't expecting me to be."

He pursed his lips around his food like it had become disgusting to him, holding it away from his tongue. He put his fork down, slowly sipped his tea, and made no reply.

"Why would you think I wouldn't come home to you?" I asked softly, receiving only silence. "Remus?"

He sat there, frozen for a moment that felt like an age before finally speaking, his voice small and ashamed. "You do so much for me. I feel like I'm just waiting for the day you'll realize what I am. I'm so terrified that you'll pack up and leave when you finally notice that I'm not worth all that you give me, that you've been wasting your life and your - your love. . . on a monster." His eyes finally left their firm focal point on the table and raised to meet mine.

"Darling," I whispered. His answer was so much worse than I had been expecting. "I know what you are. I've known what you are for six years. But more importantly, I know who you are. Remus John Lupin, I don't love you with my eyes closed. In fact, I can't tear my eyes away. I've seen the worst and best of you, and I have no desire to leave you now, or ever. I know you don't think it's possible for someone to love you, scars and all, but believe me, I'll be here every day of my life to show you that I do. I do, and I'll make you believe it even if it takes every ounce of breath in my body." I reached for his hand across our small wooden table and he let me take it, his breathing erratic and his eyes wide as he tried to focus on my face. As I rubbed the scars on the back of his hand his breathing gradually slowed, and I then brought it to my lips to pepper it with kisses. I finished my breakfast with my left hand, and never once let him go.