You Make Me Live (Remus Lupin x Reader One-Shots)

Lie to Me

(Yes, two Depeche Mode titles, I'm in a mood. Also, no, apparently I will not stop writing angst, thank you very much. If you want cheesy, happy moments with your comfort characters you should really choose another writer. I actually had so much freakin' fun researching for this, so if you like what I came up with or if you don't please please please let me know. I got Culpeper's Complete Herbal for Christmas and I'm geeking out. Also on the off chance I get any native Welsh speakers on here A. marry me! ((if able)) and B. feel free to correct my grammar! Okay enjoy thanks for reading!)

Remus had been in a horrible mood for nearly three days. It was a January super blood moon, and every nasty symptom of his condition seemed to be rearing its ugly head this time. He was on edge, and always in some form of physical discomfort, itchy one minute, sore the next, once or twice he said his skin felt too tight, like clothes that had shrunk in the wash. I was doing my best to provide the usual aids and remedies: chocolate, tea, and a soft touch, but Remus was having none of it, in fact it seemed like my every attempt to make him feel better infuriated him still further. He would glare at anyone who came near him, snap at whoever asked him a question, and more than once shrugged or even batted my hand away when I tried to touch him. I was at my wit's end, this was the worst full moon I'd ever seen him through and I had no idea how to help him. He would sneak off to the library or his dorm or the lake to try and get some peace and quiet, and even though he told me off for following him he seemed nettled when he returned to find me studying with Lily, practicing Quidditch with Marlene or, worst of all, laughing by the fireside with the other boys. Not that he was in any way jealous for my attention, not at all, but rather that they themselves seemed perfectly content with me as a replacement, and that I was having a better time than I would have with him.

On one such occasion, when we were all sitting on the floor of the Gryffindor common room, I invited him to take the seat on the couch behind me, and was mildly surprised when he didn't slink off to his room instead. He sat down, even going so far as to stroke my hair with both hands, pulling my head into his lap. But when I looked up at his face, it was blank. He was staring into the flickering flames and didn't even seem to notice what he was doing. I took what I could get, however, and rested my cheek against his thigh, gazing into the fireplace myself. Eventually, the conversation picked up again, and despite addressing him many times, trying to involve him in our discussions, Remus barely responded with more than a monosyllable. So, as was usual when no one else was contributing, it became James, Sirius, Marlene and I bantering thoughtlessly back and forth. Finally, Remus practically pushed me forward to stand up.

"Oi, Moony. What was that all about?" asked Sirius, looking more than a bit taken aback.

"Nothing. Clearly my girlfriend's having a lot more fun with the two of you than with me, so there's no reason for me to stay." Remus replied bitingly.

"No I guess not, if you're gonna be a massive git." Sirius spat back.

"Cause you're such a joy to be around right this minute, mate?" James raised an eyebrow at Remus. "Maybe it's a good idea to cool off for a bit, yeah?"

"I don't need to cool the fuck off, James, I'm a bloody-!" he caught himself before spilling his secret in the middle of the common room. "Tired," he said at last, "I'm bloody tired, so I'm gonna call it a night. If I'm allowed, that is." He growled this last bit through gritted teeth, with a dangerous sardonic edge.

The rest all looked away, but I couldn't tear my eyes from his nearly unrecognizable expression, followed by his retreating back. I felt something well in me that I had never felt toward him before, and I started to shake with it, tears forming as I wrapped my arms around my legs. Once James and Marlene had turned in, only Sirius and I were left by the fire, Siri having mentioned that he had a Potions essay to finish as he bade the others goodnight. He scooted across the red and gold carpet to sit nearer to me, placing a hand on my shoulder and asking, very quietly, if I was alright.