No Guidance

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~ I don't wanna play no games, play no games.Fuck around, give you my last name.Know you tired of the same damn thing.That's okay 'cause, baby, you, you got it, girl~
No Guidance by Chris Brown

          🪐chapter 8:trouble in paradise🪐

"Absolutely fucking not!", I shouted at him and got up from the bed. This is the only thing I would never agree t do-getting fucked in my ass. It's a painful experience believe me.

"Why not?", Chifuyu got up from the bed and stood there watching me collect my clothes from the floor, "it's not that bad".

"Chifuyu, tell me what you want from me?", I turn to face him and I cross my arms, "in one moment you tell me how much you want to fuck me and the next thing I know you're using every method to pleasure me, but your dick. I don't understand you, honestly".

"Why are you getting so mad now? It's not a big deal, I just like to have more fun. For me sex isn't only putting my dick inside, I want to bring pleasure to my partner", he started to explain himself and shook his head like this will prove his point, but it just got on my nerves. He takes too long and I start to question, if he even wants to sleep with me. And what's even worst my feelings for him grew bigger after what he said in the bar.

"Look, I-", I started telling him off, but I stop in the middle, because I knew what's going to happen, if I continue. I'm going to let my emotions get over me and I'm going to say something, that I will regret, so I kept quiet.

"You what, y/n?", he raised his eyebrow.

"Nothing. Forget it", I said and I started dressing myself. After I put the last piece of clothing on my body I grabbed my purse and I stormed out of the room. Chifuyu followed me.

"Can you stop for a sec and tell me what the actual fuck happened?", he raised him voice at me a little, so I stopped right on the spot. He sounded really angry, "just a minute ago we were okay, what happened, y/n?".

I didn't hear his question, I was too busy focusing on the fact, that he raised his voice on me. It made me get flashbacks from the time I dated Hanma. He used to raise his voice at me every time he thought I was wrong, which was most of the times. I still could hear his voice and the things he was screaming at me. You are nothing without me, no one will love a bitch like you, so you have to stick around. You good for nothing bitch! After those words there were some slaps, that I can still feel.
Chifuyu came closer to me trying to get my attention, but as soon as he reached for my hand I fell on the ground and I covered my face with my hands.

"Are you okay?", Chifuyu asked me and bend down next to me putting his palm on my back making me flinch, "did I do something wrong, y/n, I'm sorry? Was I too rough?". I didn't give him an answer, I was too scared that he will hit me, if I say something, so I stayed quiet. He slowly wrapped his hands around me, he was very gentle and patient with me, and I eventually let him hug me. He puts his hand on the back of my head and gently started to play with my hair. It made me feel a little bit better, but my muscles were still tight. "There, there, you are okay. You are safe with me, okay?".

"I-I'm sorry, Chifuyu, I don't know what's gotten into me", I explained and I put my head to rest on his shoulder, "I overreacted".

"It's okay, kitten, I understand. Do you want to tell me who the bastard, that hurt you is?".

"His name is Hanma Shuji and he's also a big name in Tokyo, so I'm pretty sure you know him", I started telling him the full story, "I'm the beginning everything was amazing and he was so sweet, but the he started getting jealous of every man around me. He manipulated me to think that I crave their attention and I'm a slut, just because they look at me. First he killed my self-esteem, then..he became violent with me. He hit me every time, when I say something that he didn't like. Don't ask me how I escaped from him, it was a nightmare".

Chifuyu listened to my whole story and hugged me even tighter, when I finished. He didn't say anything, he was just there for comfort. For the first time since the relationship I feel free and safe to talk about it. So I let my emotions get the best of me..and I started crying. Chifuyu gently stroked my hair and let me cry on his shoulder till his shirt was soaked wet from my tears and mascara. He really cares about me, huh? I thought to myself, so I see no point in hiding it, right? I pull away from his arms and I looked at him. Chifuyu didn't know how to react, so he just stayed still.

"Chifuyu I gotta tell you something", I said.

"Yeah of course, y/n. You can tell me anything you want", he assured me with a smile.

"I have a crush on you. No, in fact..I'm in love with you. Every time, when you touch me I feel electricity going thru my body, when you look at me my knees get weak and the way you care about me makes me fall deeper. I don't know, if you're going to accept my feelings, but at least let's be friends", I looked down, cause I couldn't bare to look at his eyes. Chifuyu was silent for a moment, then he let out a chuckle, which made me look at him. His cheeks were bright red and his smile was genuine. He's so cute, when he smiles. I thought.

"I like you too, y/n. This whole fucking thing was just to be closer to you. I liked you from the first day, but I assumed you're in a relationship. That's why I was taking it so slow...I didn't want it to end", he explained to me and came closer to me grabbing my hands, "I like you very, very much..y/n".

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