The convenient marriage

Chapter 54. Cadenza

The anxious voice, which kept repeating the name Aria, felt distant and faint to the young woman, who had spent what felt like a life time replaying bits and pieces from the past inside her mind.

The Langdon branch family's attitude towards their own blood related relative, their thoughts and selfish reasons... she had experienced them all as though she was a bystander in every scene she had been shown. Just like a play put on a stage, the small and big gestures of every person in the scene were presented to her clearly.

And with each memory, with each image... the greater her knowledge of their true purpose was, that much higher her unwillingness to keep on living became. She was disgusted by their words, by their actions, so much so that even more the belief inside her mind, that life really was not worth living, solidified.

Third person's omniscient point of view... it felt just like a technique a writer would use in his or her book, allowing her to see the worst side of humans more distinctly. It was as though someone was teaching her how harsh life truly was and how naive she had been regarding her hopes for the future. If the ones closest to you were capable of using you in such a way, then what could you expect from people unrelated by blood...

For all her life, there hadn't been one single person who loved her for who she was, not one single person truthful in their feelings towards her, sincerely loving and caring for the real her.

She had thought she could live someone else's life, she had thought she could finally gain happiness, but perhaps she was being punished because she had dared entertain such thoughts. She hadn't deliberately assumed Aria's identity or had any control in becoming Aria, but she was still a fake nonetheless. Coveting the real heiress's life, even if this thought of hers had been only for a second, it was still a sin for which she had been ruthlessly punished.

The more chaotic the thoughts of the young woman became, that much more she felt her consciousness losing touch with the outside world, even the voice she had initially heard disappeared altogether. It was as though she was falling in a pitch black abyss...

But oddly enough, as hopelessness took over her entire soul, instead of blaming anyone for her cursed fate, her last thoughts were still directed to the ones she was leaving behind, and especially towards Zane.

Even if he had not loved her, even if it was only a contract, even if she had only been a tool for him... she couldn't deny that the memories with him were still the most precious things she possessed in her entire lifetime.

It was a bitter sweet feeling, ironic even... for the few memories she most valued to not even be rightfully hers... a fake Aria... Why couldn't someone love her for who she really was just once?

Only once, couldn't someone cherish and recognize the real her? She thought, as she felt bit by bit her soul enveloped in pure black darkness.

"A fake Aria, a real Aria... your name was never important, the place from where you came from never mattered, even the outward appearance was only significant because of the soul inside of it."

Yes, if only someone had told her that, she was capable of loving that person for a lifetime, she would have been willing to give her entire being to that someone.

"The one who guided this body, making it shine these months, the soul who granted this face the vivid expressions that I had come to adore... it was only your heart I fell in love with."

No, not if someone had told her these words, it would have only mattered if Zane had said them, no one else but him. She had only wished for the owner of the voice, which seemed to soothe her soul at this moment, to love her.