GUN IN MY HAND

CHAPTER 45: FREEDOM

As promised, 2 new chapters today 😘

'You're a shooting star I see

A vision of ecstasy

When you hold me, I'm alive

We're like diamonds in the sky'

"Stop me."

The protrusion poking at my stomach, it was what sent a crippling shiver throughout my whole body, and before I could glance down, he took my hand and wrapped it around the unmistakable cold handle.

"I told you you would need it." 

The gun, he offered me a smirk as if seeing my thoughts unfold before his eyes. Well, the change of color of my face must have been as obvious.

It was almost hard to believe the desire had been fusing in my veins one second before, and now, the blood seemed to have left my body as fast as the switch of a trigger.

However, the fire wasn't that far. It was behind the tight lock of his jaw, emanating from every pore of his glistening skin in spite of how much his muscles were trying to hold it back, and I could glimpse it brewing in the darkness of his gaze. It was even seeping through his heavy breaths punctuating his sharp words.

"I'm having a real... real bad intention right now."

As if his eyes weren't clear – or more exactly, darker than ever – enough, he led my left hand to join the other around the gun, and the faint movements of his fingers added all the specifications, brushing the thin ring at my finger, and moving the ones from my other hand to switch off the safety. There was no possible confusion as my heart stopped with the quiet click.

"And if I start... I won't be able to stop."

Stop me, his eyes were begging me through their carnal look as he heaved out an empty breath through clenched teeth, and I took in an even shallower puff of air through my parted lips, trying to process everything.

He was crazy, completely and utterly mad. I finally had my answer to what I'd wondered one month ago when we'd been in the same position. 

Now, the question was: how much was I? Because even if nothing had changed in our stance, our chests, only separated by the length of the barrel, were rising and falling faster and heavier, carrying much more stakes, and the bad intention wasn't just a spark in his eyes; it was a dark glow in the expanse of crystalline, at the darkest hour of the night, in a moonless night.

And yet, the cracks of my voice sounded exactly like one month before. "And what if I don't?"

It was his turn to widen his eyes, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead before lowering to check if he'd understood correctly, if I'd understood correctly.

Could there even be a misunderstanding when even the sizzling silence was echoing it, and when it had been in the back of my mind like a devil's whisper since the moment I'd planned this night?

Of course, the finality of my plan had just been to have a moment together without worrying about the time or any limitations. Yet I would have lied if I said this what-if hadn't crossed my mind, and while it had never managed to come to the surface, here, there was nothing holding it back.

Maybe my evil genius plan had really worked because I didn't feel any limitation. I didn't hear any voice of reason coming from me or anyone else. I didn't remember any arguments against it, as if I'd slowly got freed of them one by one through the night.