GUN IN MY HAND

CHAPTER 51: NEED TO TALK

''Til all my sleeves are stained red

From all the truth that I've said

Come by it honestly I swear

Thought you saw me wink, no

I've been on the brink, so'

The black dots before my eyes didn't let me guess more than the lighting brighter than when we'd left and glimpse a lot of green, and from the chirping of birds, it could be anywhere. Yet I knew it wasn't our secret place at Carrion, and I couldn't help the drop of my heart before I focused on the other sounds... croaks, lapping of water, and unsure steps of someone walking to us... My heart jumped back to my throat.

"Oh no."

When my eyesight finally adjusted, it was on a familiar silhouette, and I didn't need to glance around to know where we were.

I remembered each detail of the surroundings, the thick woods, the flowers whose heady scent had passed but not their bright color, and the path that led to the waterfall.

I should have known the road by heart now – if I had even looked at it. But how could I have expected this from Blade?

While from my mom, it had been a trap, from him, it felt like a betrayal, and it didn't make sense, which surely showed in my eyebrows lifting and furrowing again and again as I turned to him, avoiding Spencer's eyes at the same time.

I had no more reason to, technically, and I wasn't mad at him. But I was mad at myself, and I wasn't ready to see the reflection of what I'd done in those warm chocolate shades, when just his soft 'hi' was echoing it in the awkwardness around.

What to even reply? After all those times I'd refused to listen to his explanations and apologies, I had no word for the unsaid, and it was Blade who broke the heavy silence.

"Believe me, it's not a gas for me either, but we need to talk."

For a second, my heart stopped mid-air between two directions, freezing at the thought of 'talking' – talking about what? Spencer? Blade? Us? – until he added,

"We need to make sure we all have the same version for the interrogations."

Right, it was an even colder matter: Douglas. It was hard to know when I'd done so many horrible things.

"The fuzz is already going full force, and they'll have the whole town under close watch. They've called me in for noon, and then you'll–"

"What?!" I gasped, blinking at Blade.

He couldn't be talking about a police summon for a murder with this casual stance and business tone. I prayed that I'd misheard, yet the images were still appearing before my eyes as I stared at him... handcuffs, charges...

"It doesn't matter." I shook my head, inhaling the same deep breath I'd taken before he'd shown up at my window. "I'll tell them the truth."

"Like hell you will!" he replied instantly as if he'd expected this – he had.

"But you said you would drop me at the station if I wanted after!"

"You know I don't make promises, baby." He shrugged, the corners of his lips dipping down before pulling up into a smirk, though there was no hint of amusement in it, only a bad intention, to which I wouldn't yield this time.