Trapped in my own life

8

I was really excited to go to school today which was definitely a first. Ophelia texted us that she gets to go to school after her long break. Her operation is still coming up though, but maybe it's better that she gets to hang out with us again.

"I'm so happy you're back," I said, hugging Ophelia tight. I know that Blair visited her a lot while I was stuck at home, because as scary as it might sound, my parents know a lot of people in Ophelia's area. And literally everywhere.

If one of their people were to see me visit Ophelia, I would've been gone.

Heading out of class we made our way downstairs to enjoy our break. The cafeteria of our school was currently close which is why we headed to one of the benches placed there.

"Hey, Blair and I need to talk about something and just catch up on things. We won't take long I promise. Is that okay with you?" Ophelia said as soon as we placed our stuff on the table. I could hear the hesitation in Ophelia's voice and I knew that she felt bad.

Blair on the other hand was trying to control herself because her crush was holding her hand. Cute. "I'm totally okay with that," I reassured her, smiling at both of them. When my eyes started following them moving away from the bench, I saw a friend of mine approach me.

"Hey is it okay if I sit here?" she asked. I nodded and smiled at her slightly. My smile was quickly replaced with a frown when I saw two big red rings circling her eyes. "Of course you can, Ayla. I hope you tell me what's wrong because I can clearly see that you were crying," I stated before putting my hand on hers.

"I- There's a boy that I really like. Like, really, really like. I mean he's always with a new girl every single day and I'm not really bothered by that, you know? I'm just angry and confused at myself because I'm starting to compare myself with a lot of girls lately," Ayla said, kind of mumbling the last part.

Before I could say anything she continued; "I've also been stressing myself a lot to the point where I had to go to the doctor," she stared at me a new tears started to form in her eyes.

To say that I was shocked and worried was an understatement. It's not like Ayla to let things get to her. She mostly has a really good grip of her feelings. "Look Ayla. There's no reason for you to do any of that. And I know it's easier said than done, but you'll regret even thinking about comparing yourself and stressing yourself out over a boy."

I saw how she slowly let my words sink in her head. Leaning for I wiped her tears away, letting my arms fall on top of hers after. "Please don't cry because of whoever that guy is. Some day you'll find someone that actually appreciates you, Ayla. Don't waste your time on someone like him," I finished, smiling afterwards.

"Thank you," she sniffed before continuing; "I knew you were going to make me feel better." I grinned at her.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything but I'm very curious who that guy is you're crushing on," I spoke. I watched as her neck and ears started to turn crimson red which I found quite amusing.

"It's actually h/n. I mean, did you see how handsome that guy is?" My heart stopped beating for a few seconds and my mind went blank. I was still smiling, not wanting to be any suspicious about the situation.

Not only did the fact that she loves h/n hurt my feelings but also because she knew I've had a crush on him since forever. Maybe she forgot. Maybe she thought I moved on. But because I truly loved Ayla, I couldn't be mad at her. Why would I? She can't do anything about her feelings. I was just hurt.

"I think you guys would be really cute together honestly," I really meant that. Ayla had beautiful long brown hair, that complimented her slightly dark green eyes. She's small which all boys find attractive for some reason. And let's not forget about how gorgeous her body is. Ayla also had a great sense of fashion and was always dressed good.

"Oh stop." She waved me off, clearly blushing at my words. I chuckled at her behavior, content with my choice of words.

"Well, I need to get going. My friend's probably looking for me. And Thank you again. You really know how to make someone fell better," she smiled, hugging me afterwards. If it means breaking my own heart just to see Ayla smile, then so be it.

About 5 minutes later, Blair and Ophelia where back. Both of them approaching the bench hand in hand. As soon as they sat down, they both started telling me about some accident they apparently saw unfolding.

"You seem out of it. What happened?" Ophelia suddenly asked, stopping mid sentence. I hated how she always realized when something was wrong. Both Blair and Ophelia were staring at me, waiting for an answer. I wanted to talk. I wanted to say what was bothering me. But nothing came out.

It was as if someone was holding my neck, forbidding me from uttering a word out. "Hey, are you okay?" That's when tears started building up in my eyes. I tried covering my face but I was too late because they had already seen them.

"What the fuck? Who made you upset?" Blair said before Ophelia stood up and sat next to me. She put her hand around me and tried to make me feel better. Blair on the other hand wasn't really enjoying whatever happened and was cursing the whole time.

"Blair. Stop with the cursing. She won't get any better."

"Fuck no. You're gonna tell me who made you upset. I swear I'll break their neck," Blair answered, staring at me intensely. How could I even tell them what happened? It wasn't even as bad as Blair thinks and Ophelia is worried for no reason. God, why am I the way I am?

"You don't have to talk, you know? Don't mind her, hm? You know how Blair is," Ophelia whispered in my ear while we were hugging, laughing at the last part.

I felt myself relax in her arms. I'm not the type of person to really enjoy physical touch but because it's Ophelia it's totally okay. She stared at me and wiped my tears away. "I'm okay. There's nothing you should worry about."

I watched as they both stared at each other with concern in their eyes. I didn't want all of this to happen. I never wanted to bother them with any of my problems.

Why did I show emotions? I should've just kept it in.

"Hey, continue telling the story. I wanna know what happened to the driver."