Trapped in my own life

9

Days went by after the incident with Ayla. I know I shouldn't be this bothered by it. I know I shouldn't even think this much about what she said. But I can't help but feel...sad.

On top of that, my father actually got the day off yesterday which would've been good, if I wasn't so afraid of him. I thought he was actually going to spend time with me for once. I really thought he will apologize and try to make it up to me although that would've been way to late.

The damage is done. There's no way he'll ever fix what he's done. It's hard watching your friends and in general other people get a long with their father or parents in general, because that's all I ever wanted.

I knew he wasn't going to do any of the things I actually wanted him to do. But I didn't know that he'll be like he was yesterday. I know him and how bad of a person he can be. Yet I still wasn't prepared for what he had done.

When he came home he immediately started yelling my name. Shocked, I threw my phone to my side and ran out the door. I was in the hallways, watching him from the railing as he continued shouting my name.

I ran down the stairs, being extra careful so I don't trip and make a fool out of myself, but most importantly to not hurt myself. When I was at the bottom of the staircase, I was directly in front of him. He's bigger than I thought.

My das was wearing a black suit with a grey tie that had the infamous metal clip on it. His hair was combed back, a strand of hair resting on his forehead.

"What took you so long? Here I am taking away time from my precious work just for you to be this sloppy and useless. Sometimes I ask myself why you're even my daughter," he said, anger laced in his voice. Speaking about his voice, it was very harsh and really deep. A kind of voice the villain in a Disney movie would have. A voice I definitely did not want to hear again.

"I-I'm sorry. It'll never happen again. I was just taken by surprise to uhm, see you," I stuttered, trying to find the right words. I most certainly did not want him to get any angrier.

"Whatever. Go make me some coffee."

I hate the fact that he has this much control over me. I hate how every time he's in the same room with me, I turn into a nervous wreck. I could feel tears brimming my eyes and I knew that I'll better stop because he does not like when I cry. But I just couldn't.

I let the tears fall down my face after realizing that he wasn't in the kitchen. I couldn't see what I was doing because of my blurry vision. Turning around quickly to grab a tissue, I accidentally dropped a cup. It fell down and came crashing on the marble floor of our kitchen.

"What the fuck?! Are you insane, woman? You can't even make a fucking coffee?" He yelled out while standing at the door. I just froze, not knowing what else to do because I was put under pressure by his intense staring. "Are you trying to test my patience or something?" He walked towards me, grabbing my hair so tight I could feel some of them get ripped out of my scalp.

"All I wanted was a freaking coffee and here you are, destroying the kitchen because you're so fucking useless to do anything good. Why can't you be like your sister, huh? I hate you," He pushed me to the ground, making me land on top of all the splitters.

If I wasn't crying before, I definitely was now. His words cut through me like a sharp knife and stayed in my head even after he left the kitchen. I heard the front door close and that's when I knew he left again. Doesn't surprise me, really.

I couldn't feel my body. I didn't know, if it was because of the shock or because I was pushed on top of broken glass. I laid there for quite a while, watching the gold chandelier that had diamonds dangling from it.