The American and the Duke

Chapter 21 Rowan

I collapsed on the wet ground as I watched Katerina ride away. My heart going with her. The rain is soaking my clothes and hair. But I did not care. My hands clenched into fists. Damn Evelyn, damn Julia Seabury. They had ruined everything. 

“Poor poor Rowan,” Evelyn’s voice cooed. I stood up and met her gaze. The rain had soaked through her nightgown. Revealing her breasts, but I felt nothing for her. Nothing but raw anger and hatred.

“You bitch, how much did Lady Seabury pay you. Pay to break my wife's heart and ruin both our lives,” I hissed. She smiled and gave me a mocking bow. Her hair becoming wet.

“Enough to ruin your marriage. Your darling wife did not know that the boy was not yours, all I needed to do was plant the seed of doubt into her mind. It was much easier than I thought,” she said. 

“Rowan Howard,” Jamie Malcolm roared. I turned and felt his hand hit my jaw. I felt my head snap back. He grabbed my wet jacket. Ready to punch me once again.

“Jamie, stop it. Please stop it,” Talia cried. She got between us and pushed James and I apart. Evelyn watched with amusement. Talia turned on her. Her eyes burning with pure anger. I had never seen Talia truly angry until now. She was not someone I wanted to cross.

“Get out of here whore, go back and report to my mother. Then take your money and leave my house. Never come back,” Talia hissed. She then turned her angry gaze onto me. I felt my mouth go dry. I wiped the blood from my bloody lip.

“I do not care what happened in your past. But I know you love Kat. I know you would not ruin your marriage over some whore. Go get her back, before it's too late,” Talia said. She pulled a shaking James back into the house. Talia was right. I had to save my marriage. I practically ran back to Howard House. Hoping that she would be there. Hoping that I would be able to talk to her in private. Tell her that it was a mistake, that it was all a lie. That I would never be unfaithful to her.

When I arrived, the house had a dark outline in the rain. I raced to the door and opened it. Mrs. Townton was in her nightgown with a candle lit in the study. She jumped up. She saw my wet clothes and looked of complete anxiety. 

“She is not here Rowan, what happened,” she asked. As if sensing what was going on. I felt my heart stop. If she was not here then she would have left me. I went upstairs and opened the door to her room. The room was dark and the bed was still made. I sat on the bed, putting my head in my hands. How could I be stupid? Why couldn’t I just tell her the truth when we came back to London. Be honest with her about my past. But I let my pride get the best of me. I wanted her to think that I was better than I was. Let the idea of Katerina leaving me become a reality because of my cowardice. Now I truly lost her. That doubt will be there forever. Just then I heard Mrs. Townton’s voice creep up the stairs. Was Katerina here? Was I able to fix this grevious mistake?

“He went to bed Katerina, do you need anything? Come in from the rain before you catch a chill” she asked. She was home. She had not left me. We could fix our marriage. A small spark of hope filled my body.

“No Mrs. Townton, not tonight. But tomorrow please send my things to the cottage. I will be staying there for a time,” she said. My heart shattered at her words. The hoping dying as fast as it had risen.

“Of course, will you leave tonight or in the morning,” she asked. I sent a silent prayer that she would leave tomorrow. Give us enough to speak to one another. To allow for this mistake to be forgotten.

“I am leaving tonight, the carriage is waiting. I just wanted my mother’s necklace. I took it off to wear the pearls for the ball. I cannot leave without it. It is too precious to me,” she said. Just then I saw the candlelight under the door. I stood up as the door opened. Katerina walked in, her eyes were red from crying. She met my gaze and more tears formed. And she took a step back. As if my very presence was abhorent to her.

“Please Katerina let me explain, let us talk. I cannot bear to see you like this,” I said. I tried walking toward her but she backed away. She walked over and took off the pearls. She put on her mother’s necklace. She turned to meet my gaze. She grabbed a clean cloak from the wardrobe. Leaving the wet one on the ground.

“Rowan please, I do not know what to believe. That woman claimed you had a son. That you tricked me into being your wife. That your love is not real.What am I to think of this,” she said. 

“My love is entirely real Kat. You are my everything Katerina Howard, you are nothing like the other women. I want a woman like you, no one else. How can you not see that,” I said. Her eyes hardened and she wiped away the remaining tears. 

“You have a mistress Rowan, you have a son. A son that you made a vow to, a vow that you broke. What does that mean for us? Does that mean when you tire of me you will proclaim your love for someone else,” she said. Her words cut me like a knife. How could she not believe me. After everything we had been through. After everything that we committed to one another.  

“Gemma, Evelyn is in my past. Yes we had a fling but that is all it was. She was married, I did not know at the time. When I did I called it off. She then tried to blackmail me with her pregnancy. And now she is claiming the same thing. I am not that boy's father. I never was,” I said. 

“How can I believe you Rowan? I love you Rowan, but I cannot be here. Not right now I need to be alone, to think about everything that has happened,” she said. She made her way toward the door. 

“Please Katerina darling, Eveyln is lying, your Aunt paid her to say such things. I love you Kat. I would never do anything to lose you,” I said. I moved toward her, she tried pushing past me. I grabbed her arm. I felt her flinch at my touch. Her sobs making her chest heave.

“Let me go Rowan, you are hurting me,” she cried. Her pained expression met my own. We stood there for a moment. All the pain and anger vanished as I met her gaze. She was afraid, afraid of me.

“Our marriage cannot survive this, please let me go,” she cried. I let her go. She ran from the room. I collapsed on the floor. She left me, and she may never come back.