PASTEL PINK || J.JK ✔

1| Authoritative

8 am

"Such a fucking loser..." the scoff coming from that one girl who's sitting behind me hit my ears, but i don't allow it to affect my dumb poor heart. I glance up at my professor who just called me to go and write down the question on the blackboard.

Hating to do this the most in all my school years, my face never expresses any sense of comfort, and i get up from my desk to walk slowly towards the person who's sharp dark brown eyes never fail to intimate me, and make me feel wobbly and stupid. "Please write down question number eight from this," mister jeon hands me a sheet of paper from the file, and i take it from his tough veiny hands, silently, nodding.

He stands back, and the profound cologne invades my nose at a sudden, and i raise my hand up to hold the tip of the white chalk against the blackboard, screwing my mind which is not seeming to cooperate accordingly.

I write down the question which he asked me to, and then turn around, feeling some strange silence ringing in my head.

"Good," mister jeon steps forth to grab the chalk from my hand, a gentle voice which he uses with me and it makes me feel okay, not afraid, like I feel with the other teachers. "You can sit." He glances at me from close, and i pretend to not be affected by this. I walk back to my place, but keep my head low to not see any of the weird and horrible students which will make fun of me for no damn reason. "Lewis, come ahead and write the answer to this question."

Our history teacher calls the name of the most idiot boy ever, i sit down after fixing my checked short pinafore which is the only thing i like about this school. The uniform is cute.

"Coming sir..." he shrieks, not caring about the way he sounded like a goat, and i stare at the window to see the rain falling on the pane, and creating a soothing noise, i don't wanna see this guy's face, i know he'll mock me again, so it's totally useless to even pay attention to my only friend.

I glance at mister jeon, and try to assume how old he may be, depending on his sharp looks, and his strong aura.

Maybe he must be in his mid twenties, or maybe even younger, i cannot tell exactly. Whatever his age might be, he really seems very daring, and he also has charming but fervent features, his broad dark eyebrows are marvelous, and his red thin lips which make me want to do something I'm not allowed to. "Miss misaki, do you need something?"

Oh no, this isn't good. Shit, did he probably caught me checking him out, or more, heck. "No, i...i don't." I stumble on my words like a dumbass, but glance at lewis who's grinning like a cat, he winks at me awfully, "i wrote it, mister jeon." He kindly helps me out my situation, and takes the professor's attention to himself. Maybe i shouldn't be so unkind to this dummy, anyways, i feel my heart beating hardly for no reason, and to calm it, i open my notebook, and write down what mister jeon taught today in the class.

"Good, but you've missed one important point." Mister jeon takes his hands out from the pocket of his tight black office pants, and takes the chalk, "always make sure to write the date of when the concerned event exactly took place." He tells out aloud, so we all can hear it, and i note this down in the paper, trying to be a little productive, and not fail.

"This is to everyone. You can go back, lewis." Mister jeon steps forth, keeping the chalk between his index finger, and his middle finger, like the way someone holds a cigarette. I look up at the board, but accidentally land my eyes on lewis, and he walks towards this row to go to his seat. "Now you can all read the last paragraph which I'll explain to you all tomorrow, since there's...." mister jeon takes a look at his wristwatch, "there's not much time left now."

His eyes go at me for a second again, and he turns around to sit down on his chair, and focus on his laptop.

What was happening to me today...?

12 pm

"Ah, i should've taken a pic. It would have explained how flustered you looked, my little cherry." I take a drag on my cigarette, but look at my left to glare at this little human, "shut up, or else i go away." I feign the thoughts of today morning my mind, scared that I'll fall more for a person i cannot have. I don't wanna do this again. It's been long since i felt alive, but still, it's better than feeling dead and controlled.

"Have some of this, it'll freshen your mind." Lewis takes the apple juice out from his bag, the one which was not consumed by anyone. So i gladly accept his offer. "I feel sick. I don't know why, or how exactly, but i do. It's really bad."

I open up my mind to the only one who's real and kind here, and also it explains why he's my friend. I turn my head towards him, but find him looking at me with softness while he chews the apple cutely. I exhale out the puff of cigarette which I'm not still used to, but have been trying to get used to. And i slide closer to his body, his free arm opening in an instant. "I don't want to live with my mom who doesn't give a shit about me. it hurts me."

I tell him half of the truth which i try to keep hidden from everyone, and he sighs, putting a hand on my head to stroke my hair away from my face.

"I keep telling you to come stay in the dorm, with me, but you don't give a shit about that, and you also want to move out of your mum's house. That doesn't make any sense, dummy." He tells me this what he has already told me a million times already, but yet, i keep ignoring his words because i know what will happen if i don't.

"You're nineteen, you've got a job. And you get paid, so why stay there?" He gazes down at me with worry, his blue doe eyes glimmering. Staying quiet, i simply hurry to finish the cigarette as the lunch break will end soon. "She'll be alone if i leave." I say.

3 pm

Tired, and physically worn out after walking till the house because i missed the bus, i swallow some water from the bottle i have, and then step inside the house which will be silent, and empty, like how it always is.

I go straight to my room, and get inside it. I keep my bag away on the edge of the bed, and i get changed into a simple short dress before i go out my room.

Having no time, i grab my phone with me, and walk towards the kitchen. I put on my earphones to listen to some songs while doing the dishes, and i look at the time, seeing i have only six hours left with me before i have to go for my work. So i have to be fast since my mom won't be back home until it's late night, and she also wants the dinner ready and the house neat and clean. I work faster. Maybe it's all my life forever, so there's nothing to sit and be upset about. I don't know why she even kept me in the first place, if she wasn't willing to look after me or my needs.

My father was probably right about mum being a burden, but in the end, he was the one who left me too. So i suppose, I'm the burden here, nonetheless, i feel this way too.

Next day

6 am

"Get up, and go get ready for school, or you'll miss the damn bus again." The sound of someone screaming wakes me up at an instant, and i sit up, breathing hard. My head feels dizzy, and i cannot see anything clearly. But i have this goddamn school, and it'll start in around an hour.

She leaves after smashing the door shut, and as i know she'll be off to catch a train, and go meet her boyfriends, i sigh, attaching to the reality.

I look at the window, seeing that today is a cloudy day, and i hop off the bed, feeling my legs cramp after i practiced too much last night. Dammit, why do i always have to be so stupid? I fold the sheets, and keep it away, not having the energy to put anymore effort in doing this chore. I stretch my arms up, leaving for the bathroom to start my morning routine.

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