Is Love So Hard To Find

Not Again...

'Wouldn't be the first time...' I think to myself, as I sit there staring out at the dark ocean. Coming to the beach always helped me get through things and think.

My name is Avery Julie Collins, but people around here just call me Ave or Avery. I live on the coast of Florida, in a small town called Wellington. I'm just your typical 17-year-old, high school student. Unless you don't count my lousy love life. Anyways, back to my latest story about being dumped.

Last Tuesday night...

Josh, my latest boyfriend had invited me to a party, that some friends of his were throwing.

I got all dressed up in a cute white skirt and a pretty pink shirt, that I bought from the vintage store in town.

He told me to meet him at the party on the beach at 10 pm. But I decided to get there early so we can have a little alone time before the party was in full swing.

Since I didn't really live far from the beach, I just decided to walk. It didn't take me more than 10 minutes to get there.

I smile some as I look at the beach, as I head towards where the party is being held. I've always loved the beach and its' ocean.

I smile more as I see him near the bonfire. I bite my bottom lip and open my mouth to call out his name. But I quickly shut my mouth as I see Amie, the most popular and prettiest girl in school.

I watch from afar as she sits on his lap and kisses him deeply. I tear up some but I don't let the tears fall yet 'Not again ...' I think to myself. I watch as he laughs and treats her as his girlfriend. I turn my back to the scene up ahead and run back home.

I run inside and slam the front door as I rush to my room, the tears already falling from my eyes.

I lay down in my bed and cry my eyes out into my pillow, not caring at all if my pillow got messed up by my tears and my makeup.

Next morning...

I received a text from him that said 'Sorry you were a nice girl, but it wouldn't have worked out anyways ...'

I reread the text over and over...

I sigh some and stand up. It was getting late and I had to get home before my father got worried about me.

Sometimes the thought and the emptiness of not having mom here with us anymore hurts more than getting used by boys.

I brush the sand off my shorts as I walk back home.

My mother died about three years ago. She was swimming when a big wave came and pushed her below the water. I was almost 14 by the time she died. She wasn't able to get back up and drowned. Well, that what they told me but I knew she had issues of her own. I wonder what she was dealing with on the inside, that we didn't know about. It must have been a pretty bad thing. That's why I think she let the wave carry her soul and body away

Till this day they still haven't found her body in the water. Not that anyone even tried to look for it after the first few days of her death. Only I did, cause I truly cared for my mother and loved her.