Burning in revenge 2

Who is She?

Ram's POV

Ever since that day there is no life in her eyes. She gets scared seeing me. I tried to avoid her as much as possible. I go to office early and and come back late. By the time I come she would be sleeping. She sleeps in sofa. I told her to sleep on bed but she didn't listen.

She get nightmares of that night. She begs not to touch her in her sleep. It torments my heart reminding me of my sin every night. I sit near her sofa holding her hand and say that no one will touch her and assure with my words till she sleeps peacefully.

In her nightmares I'm the one who abuse her and she begs not to touch but she sleeps peacefully after I hold her hand and caress her forehead. What an irony.

It's been more than a month since that horrible incident.  Everyone noticed changes in her. She used to be so lively and non stop chatter box but she hardly speaks now. 

The only time I see her smile is when she is with Nivi. Everyone asked me what happened to Jesnny, I lied them that she is missing her family. Mom asked me to take her to her home but I'm scared that she would never come back. I don't know anything about her family, who they are and where they live.

She is intimidated by my presence. I always saw fire in her eyes but seeing fear is heartbreaking especially knowing the reason.

We never spoke about the incident. Maybe I'm not ready to talk, scared of loosing her. Yes I'm scared of loosing her. I don't know when I fell in love with her in these 6 months. 

I couldn't bear the thought of her going away. That's why I lost it when Tanvi showed me divorce papers. Whatever is the reason my actions can never be justified.

I should talk to her. I got the opportunity today. Everyone went to our native place for kuldevi pooja. Mom said, Jenny is not feeling well and asked me to take care of her. 

Jenny was reading book when I reached home, she didn't notice me.

"Jenny" I called her

She was startled seeing me and book fell from her hands.

"You didn't go... why are... you... here?" She asked in fear 

"You are not feeling well and mom asked me to take care of you"

She started to cry 

"Please don't touch me" she said moving away from me

"I committed grave sin, it can't be absolved with simple apology.  I'm ready for any punishment but I can't see you like this. I will do anything for your forgiveness. I promise I would never touch you, not without your permission. Trust me.

I don't know how I brutally raped you. I'm ashamed of myself, it's burning me. I don't even have the courage to ask for forgiveness" I finally I could muster the courage to talk about the incident 

She was silent

"Please say something" I begged

"Divorce me" she said

"Will you get over this trauma if I give divorce?" I asked

"I don't know but I can't live in this house" she said

I don't know if I can live without her

"Can't you give chance to our relationship" I asked with hope

She nodded no looking down crying 

"Ok, we will go to lawyer next week. I will arrange everything" I said

I myself am disgusted by what I did, I can understand how she is feeling.  She would never want to see my face.

I lost my appetite.  I sat on terrace looking at the moon. 

Six months back she entered my life forcefully. I tried very hard to find evidences against her and get rid of her. When I wanted to throw her away from my life, I couldn't. When I want her in my life, she is going. I laughed at my fate. I can't curse fate, I brought it upon myself. 

She was hostile to me initially but slowly warmed upto me and two weeks before the incident I thought she started loving me. What went wrong? Why she wanted divorce in the first place when she was so nice and friendly that too going to extremes saying I'm impotent.

Something is wrong,  I should have confronted her instead of getting drunk and assaulting her.

I told her I would give divorce but I can't. I will find who she is? Why she lied and married me and why she wants to go away suddenly after becoming part of this family.  Everyone loves her. I can proudly say they love her more than me.

I can't loose her at any cost, I'm determined to find about her.