TW: ED
writing about eating disorders definitely kinda triggers me
i've struggled with BED (binge eating disorder) for a while and sometimes i can control it and sometimes i can't.
the last couple of months have been really shit so i decided to write this to spread some awareness
eating disorders are real and they NEED to be taken seriously.
we need to stop making comments about peoples bodys
ever since i was little i've been way under weight and a couple of years ago when i was in 6th grade people started bullying me for it 'your so skinny' 'why don't you eat lunch at school' i was 11 i didn't need that sort of criticism
now that it's getting worse im trying as hard as i can to control it but sometimes it doesn't work.
this will be about and eating disorder so if you have an issue with them please do not read this.
i do not want to be the reason for you relapse i would absolutely feel like shit if that were to happen.
this one is about ash btw
MALLORYS POV
im currently at a party trying to ignore the growing pit in my stomach.
im walking around trying to find an empty room so i can tear into the snacks in my back pack.
i walked up the stairs entering a room.
it was McKays room, him and i were pretty close so it wouldn't be weird for me to sit in his room.
he knew about my ED and when he could he would try to help me, he's a good friend.
people think he's a dick but he's actually pretty cool
(ash and mallory are the same age as rue, maddie, etc. ash knows about her ED)
i haven't ate in a couple of days so some snacks won't hurt, right?
i locked the door before i sat in a chair in the corner of McKays room.
i unzipped my back pack reaching for some chips.
i opened the bag and began to eat them.
about 10 minutes later half the bag was gone.
i looked back into my backpack reaching for some chocolate.
to be 100% honest i hate chocolate but when im hungry i'll eat almost anything
i pulled out the Hershey bar and began to eat it.
i pulled out my phone going through the pictures of people who were a lot thicker than me.
i quietly cried as i looked at pictures of the different celebrities.
i reached back into my bag looking for some thing better to eat.
i grabbed a box of granola bars.
i opened the first one taking a bite.
i gagged at myself as i opened the second one.
and then the third.
and before i knew it.
the whole box was gone.
i ate more
and more
and more
until my stomach tightened and i felt the insane urge to throw up.
