Happier

Unfathomable Forgiveness

A/N: Dark ending - pt. 2

Light POV:

I sit outside, the autumn night is cold and the moon is full, the atmosphere ironically peaceful. I shiver as another breeze passes through, I forgot my sweater, but I have no intention of going back inside, not yet at least.

Alex always said I am quick to feel, to judge. I don't rationalize, I make bad decisions. I'm not the smartest guy, I'm loud, impulsive, clumsy, and don't think about any sort of consequences most of the time. That much is true.

It's kind of what I'm known for.

It's always been something to laugh at, a huge part of my personality that makes me, well... me.

Inevitably, it was my downfall. I won't say I did not realize it, a quiet nagging the back of my mind keeps reminding me of that.

There's innocent blood on my hands. And I have no one but myself to blame. I don't have and excuse, an alibi, nothing. As much as I wish I could pass the blame, I can't. I want to blame Charli, I want to say that it was ultimately her who did the damage. Who carried out my will.

But that's the problem.

It was my will, my desire to tear something, someone, down.

I... I never hated Luca.

Heh... hard to believe much? I sound so selfish... I'm aware. But I never thought this would go so far, I never realized just how fragile life really is. I never meant for any of this.

I wish I could tell myself that a few weeks ago.

There had to have been a point where this all started, but there was never a spark to any flame. It was more like smoke, thick and heavy. Something that clouded your thoughts and filled your lungs with poison over time, blinding you and corrupting your sense of humanity.

I can't pinpoint a single moment, I can point out multiple.

I won't hesitate to say that me and him were never particularly close. He'd teased me once or twice about having Charli's attention as she chased me around, and I'd tease back, asking if he was sure he was a boy or not.

It was normal friendly banter, the good old days.

And then he left for a few months, taking a break, a breather from the stress of daily uploads.

When he came back, he hadn't changed much.

Sure his voice got a little deeper, and he'd grown a little as well, but he was still the same. Charli's best friend, Levi's brother, our friend. We were ecstatic to have him back.

I'd finally begun to accept Charli's affection, playing along with her antics rather than the usual cycle of rejection and chasing. And then I noticed.

Small changes that might have been there for longer than I realized.

The way his eyes lit up, the way his demeanor suddenly seemed lifted, when he was around her. Hanging on her every word, always wanting to be there for her, the perfect example of a best friend.

And then it hit me.

He wanted to be more.

Things began to turn into competitions, escalating ever so slightly. He got closer to her, and I got jealous. Because I saw, I saw how suddenly she began to change as well.

She was finally letting me go, not replacing me or ignoring me, simply moving on.

I hated that.

So I antagonized him a little, trying to get Charli to notice me, which caused her to accidentally ignore Luca in the process every now and then. She can be a bit oblivious, but she wasn't mean.