When Izuku Remains To Not Give A Shit

None For Y'all

Tomorrow I get to go to a place with trampolines :) (oh my fucking god current note, I was so stupid to be hanging out with that girl I was going to the trampoline place with)

Izuku's POV

I woke up to someone slapping my face. Slapping my fucking face. It wasn't even 8 in the morning.

"Gurl why you ackin so cray cray?" I instantly said.

"Shhh! It's bad! One for all is gone!" Shigaraki whisper screamed. I don't genuinely know why we decided that waking ME up would be a good idea, but I think it's probably because he has no friends.

In the true fashion of someone who wants to piss off someone else, I mumbled sleepily. "'s probably just lost. Check on top of the washing machine. It has to be somewhere." 

"Fuck you Midori, now help me!"

"wOah. I'm a minor."

"Not technically, actually."

"WAIT DOES THAT ME I CAN LEGALLY GAMBLE MY LIFE AWAY ON GAMES OF TENNIS IN THE HOPES OF GAINING MINIATURE ZEBRAS DESPITE KNOWING NOTHING ABOUT TENNIS?!"

"Probably not."

"Well even though that's never stopped me before, I'm gonna go get run over by a tank for dramatic effect." I didn't move an inch.

"Whatever, just help me!"

"Wait wait I have to know, did you actually check on top of the washing machine (heart baby bang it up insideeeee)?"

"No! Are you fucking stupid?"

"We'll I'm undiagnosed currently, but if 14 is equal to 23567890, 745 ducks exactly are named Friday, and the horses name is the longest palindrome in the world which is actually a word for a rye dealer in Finnish, then quite possibly."

"Just help me find it!"

"How do you find a quirk, Shigaraki? OFA can't have that cookie Shigaraki, OFA is a quirk! OFA is not alive!"

"Well, I mean Sensei always said he thought it may be sentient?"

"Jesus fucking Christ your Sensei needs to calm down. He can't pull out the nine. He's too dead to pull out the nine."

"Shut up. I'll just go consult his ashes."

"Ask him what he wants from the grocery store while you're at it!"

"Lay off you damn hypocrite. We keep his ashes in the court room to honor him."

"Pft- not anymore-"

"What? But we do?"

"I threw my shoe at the ashes- there is no more ashes."

"What the FUCK MIDORI?!"

"IF I CANT HAVE MY SHOES KAREN CANT HAVE HER MOM!"

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"

"BITCH I CANT EVEN SPELL!"

"What are you two doing?" Himiko piped up from the other side of the room. How she got there, is a mystery.

"Explainingn't why I spilled his Sensei's ashes."

"Ah. Carry on."

"Just come with me."

"wOah I only have 69 cents."

"What does that-"

"I don't have enough money for a chicken nugget!"

At that he just grabbed my arm, pulled me up, and dragged me out of the room.

"We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship zooming through the sky little Einsteins"

"Shut up!"

"Tell me where we're going!" I whined, imitating yassified Pinocchio.

"Fine! The rest of the league wants to see you again."

"Oh yeah, you preserved all of them. Kool."

"Yeah, I did."

"What type of shit is the same?"

"Oh, your little empire and some heroes are still kicking around."

"Oh really? Where?" I kinda wanna make shit hit the fan, so-

"UA. It still stands, and since the rat got some kid with some weird temporary copying quirk and had eyebags brainwash me, him and a couple other heroes are alive."

"Hm. Interesting. And the HPSC?"

"Gone for a long times."

"Good. Now, it's been great staying here, but I really must go and fuck shit up. Sayonara."

"Wait, you can't fucking do that-"

"I just did."

And then I flew off into the sunset in the general direction I assumed UA would be.

That's a wrap. Have a good morning, afternoon, or night and I'll see you next time!