Colleagues

Chapter 16 | Margot

Weekends always felt long. They consisted of wasted hours away from the office that always left me feeling restless and unproductive. The new case that Cynthia had assigned to me, much to my chagrin, had helped with my hatred for the weekends. It kept me dreading work almost as much as I dreaded not doing it.

Though it was something else that plagued my mind this weekend, keeping me awake at night as I stared listlessly at the ceiling above. It was the impending realization that I was beginning to care about my coworker, something I deemed practically impossible from the beginning. Since the start of my professional career, I had resolved to never connect with the people I worked with in ways beyond the surface level, beyond the small-talk and polite laughs. Despite this, Sadie Brooks had managed to work her way into my heart.

I never regarded myself as a particularly cold person. Reserved yes, but never outright cruel. I could be detached sometimes, but I never felt deserving of the reputation I had acquired in the office. I could handle the snide remarks and the nicknames, but I did not want to be seen as someone who could not be trusted, a conniving bitch with the sole intent of working her way up to the top, relationships be damned.

Sadie had given me the benefit of the doubt from the very beginning. I admit, I had been rude, condescending even, but she had treated me with a certain level of respect every time we interacted. Maybe it made sense that I was starting care.

Sadie was flawed, of course. But who wasn't? She had a shockingly low tolerance for alcohol and a tendency to people please, but I didn't mind. She was laughably gullible and sometimes came off as aloof, but I could not ignore her dedication and quiet drive. She almost cared about work as much as I did. Almost.

Her words last night, though definitely not her place to say, struck me in ways I did not expect. How could they? It was not up to her to decide who was right for me and who wasn't. She hadn't seen the perfect moments. She had never witnessed the extravagant acts of romance or the wonderful nights filled with dancing and candlelight. Christian made me feel like I was worth more than what I was. He made me feel like a queen, most of the time. In turn, I pushed him to be a better man. We made each other laugh and we made each other cry. Our relationship was dynamic and full of passion. It was not my fault Sadie couldn't see that.

But no matter how much I tried to rationalize, nothing could deny the fact that I found myself thinking about it. Even now, 2 am on a Sunday night. Part of me resented Sadie for even suggesting that my relationship was flawed. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was not the most experienced and knowledgeable in that department. What right did she have to tell me what to do?

Fuck it, I needed to smoke.

Abandoning all attempts at sleeping, I fumbled through the contents of my bedside cabinet for the objects of my desire. In the box, only a couple of cigarettes remained. It was a destructive habit, but I found something soothing in the exhale of smoke. It allowed me to see my own breath, simultaneously verifying my existence.

I made my way to the balcony, trying not to think about how tired and irritated I would be at work the next morning. Stepping out into the cold night, I was surprised to find a familiar figure on the balcony next to mine, her earbuds in, sitting against the door with her legs drawn up to her chest.

I fought the urge to shout out her name or ask why she was up so late. I knew Sadie probably wanted to be alone and my presence was not exactly accomplishing that. So I kept quiet as I leaned over the railing, taking in the view for what felt like the millionth time. When I turned back to look at her I was surprised to find her watching me silently.

"It's late," she said.

"Or early," I replied, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "Depending on how you think about it."