Colleagues

Chapter 18 | Sadie

I trudged up the stairs to my apartment, vigorously wiping away at the tears that refused to stop falling from my eyes. I was fumbling with my keys again, dropping them on the floor with a loud clang that echoed through the hallway.

To my horror the door next to mine, Margot's door, began to open. I couldn't let her see me like this. She would never take me seriously again. And what if she found out the truth of what I'd done? She would never forgive me. The thought of that only made me sob harder. Just as I was finally able to get the door open, Margot materialized in front of me, her expression immediately growing concerned. 

"Sadie?" She quickly closed the door behind her, coming closer to me. "Awww Sadie, what's wrong? Did something happen at work?"

I simply nodded, sniffling in spite of myself. Then Margot was wrapping her arms around me, holding me close and surprising me. I felt myself sink into her arms. She had changed out of her work clothes into what I truly believed was the softest sweater to ever exist. I was aware that I was probably staining her shirt with my tears and snot, but for some reason I felt safe in her embrace. I couldn't bring myself to let go.

Margot was whispering words into my ear as if I were a terrified child. Her words struck me with their kindness, offering uncharacteristic comfort in one of my most vulnerable moments.

"It's going to be okay, Brooks," she said softly. "It's all going to be over soon. I promise." Despite a considerable effort not to, I found myself crying harder into her shoulder. 

After what seemed like minutes, we both pulled away, Margot observing me with perceptive eyes. After a moment, she gestured behind her. "Would you like to come in?" An overwhelming sense of guilt plagued me at her offer. I couldn't accept it, not with her complete ignorance of my betrayal.

I shook my head. "I couldn't."

"No, it's fine," she insisted. "I don't mind. Christian is working late tonight." She watched me, a question in her gaze. "Have you eaten dinner yet?"

I knew how confused she must be. Just yesterday we were watching a romcom together, and now I was refusing to accept her consolation? She probably thought I was icing her out.

"But do not worry, you don't have to come in if you don't want to," she said as if reading my mind. "I completely understand if you want to be left alone right now."

I fought the urge to tell her everything that had happened leading up to our encounter, but I knew I couldn't. I figured I was just delaying the inevitable, that she would find out what I'd done eventually, but I wanted to stay in this moment for as long as possible, while she still trusted me. I arrived at the realization that Margot was the closest person to me in the city, and now I couldn't even talk to her about what was on my mind.

"No, it's okay," I stated finally. "I want to come in. I just don't want to inconvenience you any further. I know you probably have a lot of work to do."

"I really don't," Margot responded. "Tonight is one of those rare occasions."

"Do you have food?" I asked suddenly. The hopefulness in my voice was comedic.

Margot smiled widely, laughter in her eyes. "I do," she said. "Are you hungry?"

"I might be," I replied, flashing her a coy smile.

"Come in," she said, chuckling to herself. "I tried to make pizza."

I heeded her request, entering her residence for the second time. I took in my vaguely familiar surroundings. Something smelled amazing.

"You can sit anywhere. I'll be there in a second," Margot said from the doorway.

I found a seat on the couch. Much to my relief, I had stopped crying. I pictured what I must look like right now: eyes red, mascara running. I most definitely looked pathetic.