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Chapter 14: Life Lessons

They say you take people for granted, and the first time you truly realize that is when the people you love are gone.

Over the last day I've come to realize two things. Firstly, Kennedy isn't the only person at our school who is a complete and utter fake. I've determined that by making geeky references during classes, you can figure out who is and who isn't a nerd.

For example, during English class our teacher brought up fantasy/dystopian novels and wanted to hear our thoughts on them. I decided to make a Lord of the Rings reference. A quiet girl, who acts as though she is the biggest nerd on the face of the planet replied with, 'You know what Ivory? No one cares about your stupid Star Trek references, okay? You're just embarrassing yourself.' Immediately, a number of true nerds and geeks in our class went haywire, yelling that she didn't truly understand sci-fi and fantasy, and that she needs to decide whether or not she's going to continue pretending to be someone she's not.

And trust me, outbursts caused by nerds? That is a battlefield you don't want to get in the middle of.

This experiment continued throughout the day, during lunch, in my classes, even visiting my mom in the hospital this morning.

The second thing I learned is that perspective is a wonderful thing. Generally, when people become upset or angry, it's because they've lost perspective. At our age, and for people younger than us, everything seems like a huge deal, and a small hiccup in our plans can make it seem as though our lives are over. It's very difficult for us to see things long-term, but trust me, if there's anything I've realized over the last day, it's that failing that test or losing that race isn't the worst thing that can happen. A boy in my History class got a call, which the teacher sent him into the hallway to answer. Apparently, he was supposed to go to Maine for a tournament. Soccer, I think. However, he had gotten a test back during the class he had prior to History, the grade not being quite a fail, but extremely close to it. His mom decided that instead of going to compete in this tournament, he would have to stay home and study in order to avoid getting another mark of that level.

When it had happened, I thought to myself that his mother should just focus on herself, to stop pressuring her son into better grades in subjects that he clearly has a difficult time in. That maybe instead of punishing her son, she ought to go to his games, cheer him on, let him have fun for a couple of days, and then keep him home to study after all of his games had ended.

Now, all I can think about is the fact that, although he may not realize it, his mother is just doing the best thing for him.

I remember the time when my mom came home from work one day. She was very exhausted, having worked a longer shift than usual, and all she wanted to do was lay down and take a nap. Only, being a six year old, I was extremely hyper and wanted to go get ice cream.

My mom got off the chair, pulled her sweater back on, and then took me to an ice cream parlour. Because that's the kind of person my mother was. She lived to give other's happiness, to watch them smile at her because she made them happy, even if it was only for five minutes.

Another time was when I was a little bit older, probably around thirteen. My mom had saved up for a very expensive pair of shoes. She was planning on wearing them to her brother's wedding, because he had seen them in the store and thought that they would look amazing on her. She had gone to the store and bought the shoes. However, on her way back to her car, she stepped around a homeless woman. This lady didn't have a sweater, a pair of shoes, and to add to that, her hair was matted to her face from being in the summer heat for such a long time without a shower.

My mother helped her stand, walked her to our car, drove her to our home, directed her to the shower, and laid out some new clothing. When the woman appeared downstairs, my mother handed her a hair tie, and the box of shoes that she had only bought that morning.

When I asked her about it later that night, about why she would give something up that she had wanted for such a long time, she replied, "I don't need material objects to be happy. As long as I have you, my house, and we're both healthy, I will be happy."

She was so selfless, and my entire life I wondered how she managed to do it.

My grandmother had passed away when my mother had been twelve. Perhaps if she had grown up around her mother, she wouldn't have been so selfless. However, life didn't work out that way. She ended up being sent to boarding school, since my grandfather didn't know how to care for her properly without his wife to help him. He was so lost, all the time.

My grandfather's sanity was the first thing that went.

He would constantly claim to see her shadow standing over him as he slept, how he could feel her fingers rubbing his shoulders, and how sometimes, in the quiet of the night, he could hear her humming softly as though she was cleaning dishes.

After he lost his sanity, he got into a crash. He wasn't supposed to drive, but he missed her so much that he wanted to go to her grave and visit her. Unfortunately, he wasn't expecting for a petrol truck to lose control and topple, crushing at least three cars, and narrowly avoiding crushing him. He ended up getting stuck in the belt, the steering wheel pinning him in place until the authorities could come and get him out.

Even knowing what these people have gone through, and how they ended up being okay, I still feel extremely lost.

Because I got the call at 7:23pm on Thursday, October 30th, 2014. The call that I had been expecting, but still dreaded. The call that would change my life forever.

The call that my mother had passed away.

I had rushed to the hospital, and they had tried to revive her, of course, but it didn't do any good. They told me it was just her time to go, that they had done everything they could do, and that she is much happier wherever she is.

But how can she be happy if she's been fighting to survive for this long? I don't think her mentality would have changed. My mother must be scared, she must be sad, she must be lost. Because I know I am.

They say you take people for granted, and the first time you truly realize that is when the people you love are gone.

And if there's one lesson that's more important than anything else, it's that you should never, for one second, expect for anything to last forever. Because you could have something so firmly in your grasp for many years, but no matter how much you try to maintain it, eventually something will happen and it will be taken away from you.

And it makes you feel like you're drowning and the one thing that was keeping you above the surface has vanished. Like you'll never see the sun again.