One Step To Cross (Simdil40/Simdil90 FF)

Chapter 11: We created a 'love side'

Bodils POV (Short)

I can't believe he shut the door! I apologized, opened up my heart for him, like he did to me before! Wasn't he supposed to feel happy and relieved, forgive me and hug me, kiss me? No?!

I squeezed my hair with my hand and fell on the ground next to his door. Hysterical cries found their way out of me and I couldn't stop them. Sometimes I would whisper something like "I love you so, so much" or "please forgive me" but I knew he couldn't hear it.

He just moved on, and wanted me to move on too. But I couldn't. That one kiss didn't leave my head, and the consequences after it too. Does it mean that Carry died for nothing? I couldn't let that happen, one of my old dreams came true, but one of my new ones burned down in flames.

I have to do everything right, if i don't - my life is not worth living. It would mean that I killed a person I loved by rejecting another person I love. Jeez, I only cause trouble to everyone...

"I have to try my best."

Simons POV

He has been crying behind that door for like 3 hours, and I listened. He didn't talk much, only cry, until he left.

I've been thinking about life, my past, my future. I did a horrible thing, a lot worse than many things I've done before. I fell in love for him, for my best friend.

We were standing on the one side of the line, until I crossed it. The line that takes only one little step to cross, the line that separates the sides of hate and love.

Should I consider him guilty as well? Something told me that raping is a serious thing, and something said it doesn't matter. I'm confused, I'm lost, I'm broken.

He said he was sorry, didn't he? Should I forgive him? Why do I feel like I don't care? Am I going nuts? Omg...

I need someones help. Is he guilty or not? If he is, it meant that we are on the same side of the line again. That's how it works, it means that we are equal. As soon as we are on the same side, it turns to 'love side' automaticly.

He was just punishing me for my mistake... But he said he loves me too, does it mean it wasn't a mistake? My head hurts so much...

He came the next day. Knocked, even though he knew that I won't open this time. He was the only one who could come. He has been bringing presents and leaving them next to my door. Every day, for 5 following days. And two times that I had to go out to buy food he was there, crying and asking me to forgive him. I just ignored him, it wasn't as hard as usual.

All this flowers, chocolate, romantic stuff, I didn't need it, at least now... I have realized that everything I need is him. That's what I remember feeling, so I guess...

On the sixth day I made a decision. I opened the door, my light chocolate meeting his dark brown, red and puffy eyes. I let him in and made him some tea, sitting him on the bed in my guest room. I knew I couldn't bring him to my room... He has been sobbing so much he couldn't speak or breath.

I sat on my chair turning the computer on and continued to photoshop the thumbnail for the video. Even with my back turned to him I could feel his shock and a mix of a couple other feelings. He has been straight eyeballing me not knowing that I feel it. Finally he calmed down, too interested in analyzing me that forgetting about where he is.

I gave out a small chuckle and he flinched. "Shit..." The tea has been finished but he still had the cup in his hands, holding it nervously. I span around on my chair and faced him, he looked very scared, so much that he even looked smaller than usual.

- So what are you planning on doing? - I asked calmly. He snapped and quickly turned away as if it would help him to not answer my question. I waited.

I could understand how shocked and confused he was right now, a whole lot more than me in my feelings. I stared him in the eyes, without my usual shyness, even though he was not looking at me.

- D-Do you forgive m-me? - Do I? So much thinking has been done, and I still haven't gotten the main answer. I still love him. I must give him a chance, the last one. He may break my heart completely or heal it completely. I hope he already made a decision.

- Look at me. - I whispered. He turned back slowly. I stared at his beauty. All about him - were the things that I like. But he looked a bit scared, I wonder of what exactly. My decision, or this "New Simon" that he created? Anyway.

- I do. - He started shaking a bit. Then I saw ensless, unlimited, incredible happiness and relive in his eyes.

He jumped up hugging me closely, I enjoyed it. Soon enough the let me go, I was about to suffocate.

- I love you so, so much, Simon. Please never believe anything else, you are everything I need. - I felt those thing were from the bottom of his heart. I smiled back at him, my first smile this week.

- I love you too. - I felt as happy, as any man could ever be. Martins eyes glanced with please and lust.

He gently took my face in his two hands moving me closer. All this time we haven't broke out eye contact, as the centimeters flew away one by one. Finally the gap between us closed and my lips met his, that tasted like honey. All I ever wanted is moment to last forewer. All I could feel was passion and love in his kiss, making me melt under his lips. He licked my bottom lip asking for an entrance, I let him explore my mouth. He tasted like world to me, I felt his fast heartbeat, until we had to break for air.

It was the true kiss, the one that everyone in their life must have. It was anything I could have ever wished for. A white strip on my zebra-life.

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A/N: 750 reads?! You are amazing guys!! Also, who thinks that Bodil likes AsheyMarie? I think he does, he behaves strange around her XD Tell me what you think about the story, Ashdil and 'The Bash Situation' if you know what I'm talking about..

~AZ