Half a Heart

15. Piece of my Heart

**unedited**

I knew without a doubt that I still loved Peter. I loved him more than anything or anyone. That sort of love doesn't just disappear. It likes to linger and seep deep down into your heart. It messes with your mind. When the person that you have that love for does something, it completely blindsides you. Now you're stuck with tangled heart strings and a deep love for something that has disappointed you.
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"I still love you, ya know it?"

"Me too."

I honestly couldn't picture myself in a world where Peter wasn't my person. I always wanted to tell him my woes- my struggles. He gave me a reason to live again. It kills me to know that he was just like everyone else- temporary.

Peter came into my life for a reason. He changed me- maybe for the better, maybe for the worst. I know that he had an impact. It has always been him. That scares me more than anything. I never liked depending on anyone. I couldn't start now. I needed to back up. I needed to put that space between us. Yet, I didn't want to. I couldn't. It seemed physically impossible.

Peter and I laid there for I don't know how long. We spent the time in silence. I think we both knew that it was the last time we would ever bask in each other's company. I knew him like the back of my hand. I could tell you what he was thinking without even looking at him. He knows that he is not good for me. He knows that I know that he is not good for me. He knows that he has got to back off. He knows that we need to have a clean break.

By the time I was ready to let go, it was 11:20 at night. We stood up. I looked at him with tears in my eyes. He gave me a knowing look as his eyes filled with tears again.

"Peter," I started.

"I know, Tay," he interrupted, "You don't have to say it."

"I promise I won't call you like this again," I said.

The tears had started falling, his had too.

"I will never forget you," he promised.

"Thank you for everything."

Peter brought me in for a hug. I hugged him back tightly. This was going to be ok. I was going to be ok. Eventually.

We held each other for a minute. We backed away and I was devastated. This was really it. He leaned in and kissed my cheek, "Bye, Tay."

I watched as he walked to his truck. I watched as he left. I stood there a minute before sinking to the ground. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

I stayed there for a long time. I was reliving all my favorite memories of us.

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In between classes, I walked with Jae to our lockers. We needed to grab our materials. I had seen a few new faces today, but not many. We don't typically get new kids around here. With a population in the 300s, it's very unlikely that anyone even knows our town exists. I noticed a couple boys that were very attractive earlier. They looked almost identical and I naturally assumed they were twins. I was asking my friend Alex about it and he told me that they were actually triplets. After we met in our homeroom, we were dismissed to our first hours. All three were in my Survey of Business class. Two of them seemed to be exactly identical. The third still looked very similar, but his face was slightly rounder.

Jae and I stopped at her locker before going to mine. They were actually really close together. As I stood up, another new face caught my attention. I was immediately intrigued. This boy was hot. His eyes met mine and he smirked. I got this feeling that he would somehow be very special to me. I smirked back and gave him a flirty little wink. I'm not even sure where it came from. It just seemed appropriate.
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