How Could I? -Elliott With 2 T's FanFic-

2

Almost a year has passed since that time Elliott and I met, we have a friendship that has become quite close, we are just two friends who opened their lives to show themselves as they were, two friends who, I hardly realize, could not be without each other, two friends who, from being together for so long, became essential in each other's lives, and two friends that from loving each other as friends one of them loved more than necessary, more than a friendship allows, because for a friendship to last, everything is admitted, except one of the two betrays it by putting love into it.
In this case the traitor is me, but I am a quiet and cowardly traitor who never dared to say anything, when confessions were about to come out of my mouth the fear pushed them back.

Other people in the same situation as me dream day and night of something as distant and impossible as a kiss full of love or a miraculous night in which that someone you thought was impossible would show that they feel even a part of what you feel for them.

It wasn't like that for me, I don't care about his body, 'cause i've seen his smile, his way of being, his way of thinking, how he treats other people, the sound of his voice... I love everything about him, but I didn't have any kind of thought beyond some day when our lips might accidentally meet each other.

Everytime I reflect and get into my head i start to think everything would've been easier without my silence; Elliott doesn't know about my sudden nerves everytime he looks into my eyes. How could I let him know my hugs wanted to stay tight forever? How could I let him know my kisses on his cheek wanted to slide to his mouth? How could I let him know my words are half-hearted and not as honest as I wish they were? How could I explain to him that he has been already mine so many non-existent nights? That he was a huge part of my existence; imagining him in my past and dreaming of him in my future.

I live in constant fear that a sigh of love would sneak from me and give me away, and sometimes when I talk to Elliott I would do so looking away so he would'nt notice that sparkle on my eyes everytime I heard his voice.
Because my love for him is as big as my silence; and at the same time, the size of my love can be compared to how big his indifference is.

In spite of everything, our friendship remains the same, even though I am dying of love for him.

It's a Wednesday night, quite long and boring, I was organizing some things at home when my phone starts ringing, on the screen I see it's Elliott, I started to shake as usual, but I quickly picked up the call and started to hear his voice.

— Hey sis! how's it going? —I heard through the phone.

— Not a lot going on. —I giggled. — I was doing some cleaning.

— Kinda late to be doing such a thing, isn't it? Hahaha, I bet. —Elliott laughed

— Hahaha, i'm for real girl! This place just needed some touch ups.

— Whenever you want, call me and I'll help you with it, I think I have an extra sense for decoration. — Elliott said while laughing a little.

— Hahaha, of course Elliott. Whenever you're up to. — I love when i hear him laugh, it makes me beyond happy, his laugh is the most adorable thing ever.

— What a boring night, isn't it? I'm not sure why but Wednesday nights have always bugged me a bit, haha.

— I get you perfectly girl, at this point I'm just looking forward to the weekend. I got outta work and I've been organizing the house for hours, ugh, i just need a rest.