How Could I? -Elliott With 2 T's FanFic-

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—Elliott... — I said with a trembling voice.

Elliott turned to me and still didn't let go of my hand, I swallowed heavily and breathed hard as I kept trying to speak.
He kept looking at me and waiting for an answer.

— Damn, I don't know how I could... — I stopped in the middle of the sentence.

— You're scaring me. — Elliott said as he tried not to laugh.

— You don't know how much you mean to me... — I joined my two hands with his. — I want you to know that there is not a single moment in which I do not stop thinking about you.

Elliott just formed a confused expression on his face, he looked around and looked at me again.

— Well... You have also become very important to me. — I could see how he was trying to understand why i was saying all this.

— Elliott, I have known you for much longer than you have known me, I am still one of your biggest fans, for me it is still a dream to be able to talk to you, you are the person that I consider my idol among many other things... Obviously you didn't know it but in another part of the world there was an unknown person who loved you madly. — My lips began to tremble and I felt small pangs in my heart.

Elliott looked at me and blinked rapidly, for me it is a clear sign that something is going to go wrong, but I already started this, I must finish it.

— It is really difficult to look at the person you love in their eyes and not being able to say anything, more out of fear than opportunity, Deep inside I know the privilege of loving you reciprocally only exists in my head, but even if I know it, I don't care, I couldn't spend another day without telling you that I think of you every day, more and more in love, it hurts to tell you all this, but it also hurts to shut it up... — Tears came to my eyes, it reminded me of the first time Elliott and I met. — I fell in love with your smile the first time I saw you, when you didn't even know I existed, and now that I know you... I fell in love with everything about you.

Elliott sighed and turned his face to the side while staring blankly. Then he turned to me, he looked at me with an expression that made me tremble with nerves and get scared.

— I really don't know what to say... I don't know what I could say, I don't know what you want me to say. I just don't know. — He said, as he let go of my hand.

As soon as I heard that and saw his reaction, all my illusions formed over the years were broken and as I saw my dreams slip out of my hands. The sensation felt like hitting a wall at high speed, it left me so stunned that I couldn't express feelings or either define them. It was a pretty horrible moment when we both fell silent as we looked at each other.
I couldn't contain myself anymore, I suddenly got up and ran, I headed towards the stairs and went upstairs, then I entered my room and fell on the floor next to my bed, I burst into tears on the floor as I shook and my tears wet everything, I covered my face with my hands, I was so embarrassed, and I kept crying but in the most resounding silence. The silence that I should have kept, I was deluded to think Elliott could look at me differently, perhaps my greatest fears were true; "I'm everything he could hate in a person".