Total Eclipse

Chapter 15

Amity began to storm off, turning back to the safety of rage and the comfort of coldness.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," Amity said angrily. "I really thought it was going to be okay this time. But It's never okay. Titan, Luz, I can handle my own mind. this isn't our fight. it's mine."

it was all a blur. She felt herself falling apart, lashing out, with no curse to shield her. She was weak. She was crying. She was seeing stars, unable to make constellations of them.

"You're too late. You can't just fix me. It doesn't always have to be you, Luz. Your shoulders aren't the only ones that have to hold the weight of the world."Amity said through gritted teeth.

"Amity..." Luz said softly.

"We can't keep going on like this, Luz," Amity said, voice full of despair "it hurts too much,"

And it did. It did hurt. Luz could see it.

But also that meant she was feeling something. She didn't know exactly what, but in an odd, twisted sort of way, she kind of liked it. And because of that, she found herself doing something she had never done before.

She looked back.

Amity saw everything through a fisheye lens. Luz was trying to get up, to follow Amity, as she always did. But her legs were weak. She was wobbling as if the ground was warning her to let Amity go. Still, she kept trying to get up anyway, ignoring destiny and instead trusted fate.

Amity paused, her stony expression melting. No matter how hard she tried, she was unable to be molded back into place, as much as she'd like her guard to stay up.

It fell, just as Luz did.

Maybe Luz deserved more than Amity, but was all Amity wanted.

Amity slowly knelt down next to her, making sure to leave space for the wall in between them.

"I'm sorry. I only wanted to help. I won't... I won't hate you. I know that's what you think you deserve, but I won't. I can't," Luz said, desperately trying to hold in tears. Amity watched as her chest rose and fell, not sure how to comfort someone.

"No, no, don't be sorry... please don't be sorry," Amity said, her hand outstretched, touching Luz's face, but unable to cross that boundary line. Guilt filled her stomach. She had done it again. Her eyes widened, her pupils darting as she watched Luz crumple in front of her.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," Luz kept repeating, still begging for forgiveness she didn't need.

"Luz..." Amity said breathlessly. She was shaking, her already frail limbs trembling like those of a tree in wind.

"I'm okay. Don't worry about me," Luz pleaded as she pushed it aside, twisting a curl between her fingers nervously.

They made eye contact for just a moment, and time stopped.

Time stopped yet hearts kept beating.

Time stopped but tears kept falling.

Time stopped but breathing somehow only got heavier and more desperate.

And suddenly, everything seemed clearer? As clear as the crystals falling from their eyes.

Amity was tugged at the fabric of her dress. She let go to take Luz's hand. And they both fell silent.

It felt like Amity was holding the sun.

Luz kept crying. Amity didn't know how long she had been holding those tears in. They fell softly, like snow, and Amity had never seen anything like snow. It was beautiful. She didn't know someone could feel so much. It almost frightened her.