The lonely wolf [bxb]

Redeeming myself

(Elias)

The next morning when I woke up I was feeling much better, thanks to Raina and Forest for helping me. I didn't want to go back to the pack house because I loved it here, but Raina told me that Lilliana was asking for me and said she got mad at her for not being home. I would rather not come between their friendship, so it was better if I head back.

'Remember you can visit anytime, just call for me, and I'll get you here even if you want this place to yourself, it's yours now too.' I nodded my head as Raina went into serious mode. She was also unhappy that I was leaving, but I guess she'll get over it soon.

'And also remember, if you need help with anything, don't hesitate in ask me. I'm your friend, well, your only friend, so that's what I'm here for.' I rolled my eyes as she continued to talk, I was on the verge of breaking her neck if she didn't shut up.

Then she went on to ask me when my birthday was and when I got kicked out of my pack as if she didn't want me to leave, so she was dragging the conversation a bit.

'Dammit Raina I'm eighteen years old, I've been on my own since I was sixteen. If you must know, I got kicked out on my sixteenth birthday. The day I was scheduled to meet forest. I spent the last two years alone after that. The least you can do is give me some credit for taking care of myself at that time.' I hissed out, and she held her hands up in surrender while smirking.

'You didn't take care of yourself, Forest was the one who helped you.' She shot back, which was a low blow. She laughed as she gestured for me to go on.

'I already celebrated my birthday on January 20, before I was found by Lilliana.' She nodded her head and sighed.

'So you had just turned eighteen? Have you or forest ever thought about what it would be like to celebrate your birthday after that? I mean, you spent two years alone, did you ever once think about your birthday?' What's with her and these questions? I shrugged my shoulders and allowed forest to answer her since he was the one in control at that time and not me.

'I decided not to waste my time on meaningless things like that.' Forest said easily as Raina's eyes became wide.

'B-but you must have…there must be a time when you…' She paused when she saw the look on my face, which gave her the answer she seemed to badly be after.

'Never mind then, I'll make sure you have a good birthday next year. You don't have to worry your pretty little head anymore.' I smiled as she asked me to get ready to go back.

'And one last thing before you leave, Elias, I'm glad it was Bryan, Brendan, and Lilliana who found you. Now I have someone to call a friend.' With that, she snapped her fingers, allowing me to return to the pack house.

I sighed as I looked around the room Lilliana gave me, it was everything I've ever wanted and more, but something about it didn't feel right. I felt like I was intruding, that I wasn't meant to be here.

If Lilliana heard my thoughts she would surely punish me for thinking in such a manner but, I couldn't help it. At the end of the day, this wasn't my pack.

I was an alpha in the making, I was groomed at a tender age on how I should take my job seriously, that my people came first. Even without the alpha title, I thought that my parents would still love me.

They switched so easily that I had to question their motives. I've been looking back at the way things were between us, trying to find as many similarities between us as I could, but there were none.

While I had red hair and blue eyes, my father and mother had black hair but, my father had green eyes and my mother brown. I wasn't as strong as my father, in height or weight I was next to nothing.

Made me wonder if my father was right, during that time when he asked my mother if she had cheated on him. I shook my head as I got rid of the thoughts, what use was it to waste my time thinking about someone who didn't want me? Even if I had to let go of a sibling I wasn't allowed to know, I had to do it. There was a knock on the door, so I opened it and saw Lilliana standing there with a smile on her face.

She pulled me in for a hug, one that I returned desperately.

“I've missed you, my boy. Don't you ever disappear on me like that again? I was about to commit murder if Raina didn't send you back.” She laughed as she hugged me closer to her, a hug that she knew was meant to comfort me, and it was helping a lot.

“Are you hungry?” She asked as she pulled away to inspect me. I shook my head and smiled at her.

'No. Raina made sure I ate something before I came back. She has been filling me with her special jasmine tea, saying it's a calming remedy of some sort.' She chuckled at my response while shaking her head.

“You know, I was meant to ask you if you would like to accompany me on my walk. I intended to do a walkthrough of the pack land since it's my duty to let my people voice their concerns, so I can help. I was thinking that maybe you would want to see what it's like if you're not too busy, that is.” I nodded my head with a smile, letting her know how much I have appreciated her for doing this.

As we walked side by side, she was stopped by a few people who wanted her blessing. Seeing as how she was well respected here was something new to witness. My father would never allow this, he would throw a fit if he saw what was going on. After Lilliana and I resumed our walk, she started talking about Bryan and Brendan, telling me how they met.

“If it wasn't for following my instincts, I wouldn't have met them. I was walking one evening alone, and I came across some rogues, but they didn't seem feral. If anything, they seemed lost. They were near my land so, as always, I was about to get rid of them, but something told me to stop. That I shouldn't be too quick to judge them. I took a good look around and saw that there were at least five pups there as well who seemed to be hungry, starving may be the right word to use. I decided to test them, to see if they would betray me. In that little group were two young pups, who I've come to love as my own. Bryan and Brendan were there with their parents, they didn't have a home because they were kicked out of their pack for going against their Alpha. I took them in and when they became a member of my pack, to thank me they also became my warriors. Not the best, but they are getting there. Their mother, as you know, is a teacher, she teaches sign language and their father is a mechanic here.” I nodded my head as I listened to the story she was telling, at least I got to know a little more about the twins.

“Samuel once said that I shouldn't be so quick to accept others who are rogues, but I couldn't sit back knowing that they weren't feral, that all they needed was a home just like you.” I stopped and looked at her, realizing the moral of her story was based on me. Why, though? Because I wasn't that important.

“Not everyone should be judged, it's a sin. I knew you were special from the moment the twins found you. I couldn't leave you there for another hour. I sense a lot of greatness in you, even my sister came to me in my dreams and told me that you are special.” I raised my eyebrow at her because I wanted to know who this sister of hers was.

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but for now, know that you are here for a reason. Don't give up so easily, it's better if you keep on trying. At least you wouldn't fail at anything.” As we continued our walk, I went over what she had said.

Maybe she was right, perhaps it was time I do things for myself. Maybe it was time I went back, to my mate and finally do what I've always wanted to do. He was trying to find me, but I knew where to find him, so why not? Why not be the one to accept his rejection, so he can call off his search? I won't ever be with someone like that, that's where I draw the line.