The lonely wolf [bxb]

Hope

(Ryker)

'Don't talk to me.' I said to Max, who was trying to tell me a joke. I just didn't feel like talking to him after what he did. Even though it seemed as if it wasn't bothering him one bit.

'Oh come on! Stop being so lame. You were once the killer of rogues, the one who thrives on fear, so what's with the sudden change? I know it doesn't have anything to do with Elias.' He said as if he were trying to annoy the hell out of me, it was working, of course.

'Even though you said that you have changed, I know you're only pretending. After all I'm your other half, I can feel how desperate you are trying not to show your true colors. That's why I hate fake people, they always rub me the wrong way. You shouldn't be mad because I ate Sheila, I was starving, for goddess’ sake.' I rolled my eyes as he continued to rant. Going on and on as if he didn't know when to shut the hell up.

When I woke up this morning, Elias told me he was going to spend the day with Raina and Lilliana. Of course, I missed him already, but after what he said yesterday, I couldn't bring myself to face him.

He thought that I was only using him because I was afraid of losing my Alpha title. I wasn't though, because I didn't care. I've told my dad the same thing before, so why wouldn't he believe me?

'You haven't given him any indications to trust you as yet. Let's sum up everything you did to him before. You wanted to kill him when you thought he was a rogue, you threw him in a dungeon when he was scared and alone. You found out he was your mate and even though I've warned you not to reject him, you went ahead and did so. Furthermore, you got rid of him by telling miles to leave him in the forest, where you know he spent most of his life already. He found a pack and people who cared for him, but yet, you went there because of some fucked up situation with you and Ryland and you took him from his new pack after accepting him. Am I leaving anything out?' Damn, Max was very talkative today. He seemed to be in a bad mood, acting as if it were my fault.

'I know that you miss Elias, but can you please shut up? I'd like to concentrate, and you're making it hard for me to do so.' I replied, feeling myself getting angrier by the seconds.

Max got the drill and kept quiet like I asked him to. I was in my office working on some things to get my mind off Elias not being here. This was all new to me, I know it may come as a sudden shock, but I've somehow grown attached to Elias in the short amount of time that we both had accepted each other.

I realized now that no one would believe me when I say I wouldn't hurt Elias, but it's the truth. It wasn't really my intention to hurt him before, I was just in a bad place at that time.

A knock sounded on the door was enough to get my mind off things. Ryland walked in with miles and Damian, both had a serious look on their faces.

“You sure took your time getting here.” I said to Ryland who held his hands up before sitting down.

“We were stopped by some people who wanted to know where Sheila went, they weren't concerned, just curious.” He replies before sitting down.

“You know it's against the rules to leave the pack land without notifying one of us. So if she wanted to take a damn vacation, she should have let one of us know before leaving.” Miles said while rolling his eyes. Like I said, no one likes her here.

“Yeah , I guess you're right. Maybe she needed some time to herself to rest, who knows?” I said, trying my best not to look guilty in front of them. Dammit, why did Max had to devour her when there were other ways of punishing her?

“Let's not waste any more time on that. Is there anything of importance that I should know about?” I asked, trying to change the topic because the very thought of it was making me sick already.

“Everything is quiet so far, haven't run into any problems with any rogues, but I guess it's because you killed them all already.” Damian said as a joke, but I wasn't in the mood for it.

“The warriors have upped their training because you never know when it would be put to good use, and we should really think about expanding the land because the members here are already starting a family, and you know the women here can have up to four pups at a time, so we need as much room as we can get.” Damian said, and I agreed with him.

“Yeah. I'll check it out and see if I can purchase a few more acres of the land. We could start building more houses so that we have enough room for everyone, is that all?” I asked and Damian nodded his head.

We spent the rest of the day talking and making plans. It was enough to take my mind off Elias for now, even though I was still wondering whether he was alright or not. I didn't send him a mind link because I wanted him to enjoy himself without me disturbing him.

But there's one thing I can't help but notice, how much I've really changed. How much I felt different. I felt free, a feeling I never knew existed because of the pent-up anger I had within me. All of that is out of the way now, I won't go back to that type of person that I was before. I will have to try my best to get Elias to trust me and believe me because I want to be able to spend the rest of my life with him in peace. I just hope that everything will be ok between us from now on.