Griangst One-Shots

Better than Me

Grian POV

     I walked off the stage that I built. Hermitcraft needed a party, so I gave it one. I just announced the beginning of it, and everyone looks to be having fun. So far. 

     Their congratulating me. Why are they lying? This is nowhere near good. I tried my best, but my best is not enough. Nothing is enough. I could have made the lights shine at a better angle. I probably should have gotten more choices of foods. This just wasn't good. 

     I knew everyone would disagree with me if I said anything. Their just so supportive, even if it was never true. That is the reason I keep my mouth shut. I can't deal with them saying that I underestimate myself. I don't. I overestimate myself. Always making projects that are more than I can handle. I need to though, I need to do something to prove to myself I'm good enough. 

     Maybe one day I might get better. I might actually be a good hermit. For now, I just have to be the one to start games to make sure I'm involved in something. 

     When I joined, I didn't expect it to be that hard. I was wrong. To be a good hermit, you have to spend most of your time working. Most of the time, you have to pull many all-nighters in a row to get anything done. Anything less than spectacular has no place on this server. 

     I don't like my scars. They give me a disadvantage. I can't do some things. They just hurt too much. I thought they would've healed by now, but they didn't. I don't think they ever will. 

     Maybe this party is my way of saying sorry. Sorry for not doing well here. Sorry for not being able to swallow my pride and leave. But I have to stay now. Even if no-one really wants me here. Why would they? All I do is cause trouble. 

     One day I might be able to say I belong here. One day I might be able to say I'm good enough. But for now, I can't. Because when it really comes down to it. . . 

     Everyone I have ever met is better than me.