Dark But Beautiful

P R O L O G U E

Made it through the maze
To found my one in a million
And now you're just a page torn from the story I'm living
And all I gave you is gone
Tumbled like it was stone
Thought we built a dynasty that Heaven couldn't shake
Thought we built a dynasty like nothing ever made
Thought we built a dynasty forever couldn't break up

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Z o o n i

Dread..

Its the only feeling I can pick out from my mind, which is contained with so many mixed feelings. I am terrified is an understatement. We just arrived here and I already feel like going back to my home and attack my bed; my safest place. The busy office and fastly moving people are contradicted to my depressed mind and heart.

Sitting on a wooden bench that placed in the corridor of the office, I look at my family. Ummi sit right next to me, her tender hand holding mine reassuringly, but her mind is somewhere else too, because the vacant look in her eyes says it. Papa and uncle are standing next to the office room, uncle was telling something to papa and he's replying with a node. These are my only family. Uncle have a wife and a son, but they couldn't make it to the gathering.

I disappointed them... It's humiliating to know that, me; the kind hearted and perfect girl in my whole family is the reason for their doom. And I disappointed at myself too.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I looked up at the grandfather clock that placed in the wall across from where I was sitting. It shows 9.45. We were 15 minutes earlier, and it's making me overthink the situation.
The loud cheering and clapping of the people from across the room got my attention. They were inside the room and I can clearly see them from where I sat through the open door. They are happy and they started their new life with a smiling face. I wonder how my life would be... How my life will start... Will I smile after the signing process or cry? I don't even want to know now.

I hope everything will be alright...

Hope... Such a simple and beautiful word. I was a hopeful child before. Always hoped that my life would be a fairytale like my parents. Their life was nothing like a fairytale, but the four year old girl believed that loving someone only existed in fairytale and my parents are one hell of a lovers.

But my hopefullness crushed the first time when I finds out tooth fairy is not real and it's a mere myth. In my bedtime princess stories the favourite part of mine was tooth fairy because when I lose my teeth and if I keep it under my pillow and wish for something, the next day the tooth will disappear and our wish will become true. I wished for my prince charming. For my defence I was 4 years old who always eager to listen princess stories.

But when I lost my first tooth I was shattered by the revelation that tooth fairy is a myth. I was cried hard that day at the truth, holding hand with the culprit which whom I collided with when we playing a hide and seek at the playground during my 1st standard. He was the one who caused  me to lose my front teeth and he told me the truth about the tooth fairy. I can still see the picture of me and him holding hands while I cried hard into his shirt and he trying to console me with a same pained look on his face.

The realization of magic doesn't exit in this world was the 2nd time shattered my hope again. I was a die hard fan of the Harry Potter (I still am, but that time I really believed it was real). I learned the truth the hard way. It was my 10th birthday and my Papa gifted me Harry Potter books and accessories. The broomstick and magical wand was one of them. And I stupidly thought it was real magical accessories, enough to jump off from a 10feet tall boulder near my home. So to be short, my evening birthday party ended up in me looking sulky with a cast on my right arm, a bandaged left leg, 6 stitches in my forehead and a busted lips.