Runaway Husband

14: The Text

Remi:

I lay back on the floor, my chest wheezing and panting loudly. Fuck. Holy shit. I over did it. I'm so relieved though.

I stare at the newly colored walls and let the paint roller fall against my chest, completely ruining what was left of the old Rolling Stones shirt. It was one of my favorite pajama tees and I guess I'll throw it out after this. I've been working on this since noon and Andy is at work tonight, not getting off until 3 am. Fuck. My chest is actually burning! Okay, maybe I should have waited for Andy's days off like he said but I was just too excited, okay? I found a deep navy blue color to paint all but one wall. The other is a light gray and I'm going to do the nursery in a good night theme.

My feet don't even exist anymore. I try to look down but my stomach is so huge it's like nothing else exists. I drop my head back in defeat. I miss my toes and my knees. I can barely even touch my dick anymore and it makes me want to cry. Damn hormones. Damn 26 week old jellybean. Of course I don't truly mean it.

Since the robbery, I've lowered myself to three days a week and Maggie is now making sure there are two servers working midnights together. Andy keeps trying to convince me to quit but I'm scared. Andy...god. He's been amazing. I wish I would have met him instead of Ezra. I'd gladly give myself to him and have all of his babies. He isn't mean but he is gentle. He likes communication and a lot of it. It scares me that he is even real. He's a fucking dream. I don't know what he even sees in fat ole me.

I drag the roller brush over to a different stack of newspapers that are sprawled over the wooden floor. Andy said he will be putting carpeting in here so jellybean can crawl all they want and it won't hurt her knees. Shit it would feel amazing if there was carpeting in here now.

Honestly, I could fall asleep right now. I can barely even keep my eyes open! Ugh I need to take a shower before Andy gets home. It's already dark out. I don't want him to think I'm a lazy slob or something. Ezra would get so pissed at me if I didn't shower at night, I don't know why. I'm just a morning person I guess.

I go to bend my knees up and instantly a sharp pain goes from my mid back all the way to my ankle.

"Oh fuck fuck fuck ow!" I scream as I try to roll over to my side but the pain increases. Shit shit shit! I start panting as the pain decreases once I'm back to laying flat. Fuck. Okay let me try my left side. I carefully move my right arm over to give me some leverage but the pain comes back. God it feels like something is being unhooked from my back!

God ow my back is yelling at me. I shouldn't have laid down. Damn you jellybean! The subtle kick to my bladder isn't making anything better you brat. I stare up at the white ceiling and I have to laugh. How do I even get up?

Okay, Remi, just grit through the pain. Okay one, two, three, GO. MOVE MOVE MOVE!

Tears escape my eyes once I'm back laying down. Well, fuck. Who do I even call? Is this like a 911 situation? Oh yes, please send the fire department. A fat pregnant man can't get up off the floor! God what a waste of resources. I can only imagine what the internet articles will say. 'LA Pregnant Man Calls 911 because He was too Fat and Stuck on the Floor Rotting.'

I miss Mia.

Ugh Mia.

I manage to grab my phone from my pocket and scroll through my contacts. I honestly don't have that many on this phone. The embarrassment is excruciating, maybe even more than the pain. Oh god Andy will never find me sexy again. Oh well, here goes nothing.

"Hey babe."

"Hey," I squeak out. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No, no, I'm just going over some reports that updated today on that case over in Nevada. We finally got something!"