Between Hello and Goodbye

Chapter 10: To Prompt, or not to Prompt

Hey guys! I'm back from the abyss. Work and life took me away but I managed to find my way back to this story. So here's a new chapter, enjoy!!

My tear stained face staring back at me in my bathroom mirror had played over and over in my head, the coolness from my sink etched into my hands as I had gripped it in frustration. Gage's words ran through my mind, reminding me that at the end of the sequence of events of our interaction, it always led back to the very thing that resonated so deeply within my psyche.

I had not answered his question.

The very question, until recently, I did not think would plague me in the way that it did, its words making my body itch with the same nervous feeling from the day before. Did I like girls? Did they pose any sort of interest to me? Even in the slightest? My answer—or at least the first part of it— came in the form of Melissa sitting across from Asher and I, her eyes focused on the screen before her. I took in the vision that was Melissa Gearhart, her hazel eyes sparkling off the sheen from her computer screen, waves of chestnut brown hair outlining her heart shaped face. Melissa was beautiful, simply beautiful. She was a simple girl, one that didn't need much of anything to win the hearts of everyone around her.

Most guys talked about how attractive she was, but in a way that guys felt so intimidated to even attempt to talk to her. They felt that they were worthy of asking her out, yet none of them had the balls to do so.

If I asked Melissa out, would she say yes?

Would I want her to say yes?

Dating her wouldn't solve any of my problems. I felt like they would only exacerbate my current problems, problems I knew would never go away unless I faced them or, at least, accepted them. The more I looked at Melissa, the more I realized that I did not feel anything towards her. My skin did not get warm at the sight of her beauty. My heart did not race at the thought of touching her or of her touching me. There was nothing.

The realization sat in the pit of my stomach like a large stone, heavy and very, very real. I was carrying the weight of the burden that was my sexual identity, the feeling like I didn't have a choice, something that, if I ultimately did have it, would have made everything so much easier. Being able to choose whom I was attracted to based on what was deemed normal, would have completely changed the dynamic of my now growing situation. Why couldn't I have that choice?

The second part of my answer came from the person sitting next to me, the sound of his fingers as he typed away at his keyboard, a quizzical look on his face reflecting his actions. Asher seemed to be deep in thought as he typed his answer to a prompt Ms. Wilder had written at the beginning of class. The look alone warmed me to my core, the sight of him immersing himself in his writing brought a smile to my face, something that felt so rare in my current state. The memory of his eyes analyzing me when he thought I wasn't looking at the beginning of class, caused my heartbeat to race at what seemed to lay behind the heat of those dark eyes.

"What, do I got something on my face?" I blinked my eyes in surprise looking at Asher.

I knew I had been caught in the act.

My eyes focused on Asher once more, seeing that he had not looked away from his screen as he typed out more to his prompt reply. Could he have felt my eyes boring into his face while I was watching him? Had I been that obvious?

"There must be something on my face, you haven't written anything for the prompt. At all." He said, with a small smirk forming on his face.

I blinked, realizing he was right. The empty document on my screen radiated into the side of my face—something that unfortunately had become too common of an occurrence lately.