folklore

Augustine

The salty air lingered in my memory. The little I had was enough, when I believed he was mine. But he was never mine.

In, short, this summer was life changing. I spent it with the boy I thought I loved. I was like two weeks from telling him I loved him. But... the second August ended, our "romance" ended. Though it was really no romance at all. A summer fling. But It was three months. People celebrate anniversaries for that long.

I miss the days, the daze, and the haze I was in when I was with him. He and I used to go to the beach. That spring I'd gotten my license, so he'd tease me when I would be with him. He used to say it was practice.

So we'd drive down to the beach, sit together, breathing it all in. We'd hang out in secrecy. Sometimes, usually after the beach, I would spend my nights in his bedroom, he would smell my hair.

Even though we were both young, he was a little older than me. He was ready for things I wasn't. I didn't want him to leave me. I pretended I was, but I don't regret it. I truly loved him.

Only until I lost him, I learned he wasn't mine to lose. Losing something that wasn't even yours was a different kind of pain.

If only what was enough for me, was enough for him.

We didn't spend every day of that summer together. Especially August. I think I knew why he was upset when I found him in May. And I think that whatever— whoever it was, had returned to haunt him.

Now that I know what was haunting him, I began focusing on the past. The beautiful before was now the ugly.

Before I knew he wasn't mine. Because if I did know, I would've never hurt her.

But now look what I've done. I wish I hadn't been so naïve. I wish I hadn't had to do o much growing up in the days since August.