To my beloved, Terry

Chapter 11

Yeonjun was supposed to ask Beomgyu for dinner. They have prepared barbeque, pasta and a little bit of seafood as a welcome celebration for Arin- Taehyun's older sister. He had been yelling the younger's name for quite some time but then Beomgyu wasn't responding and he guesses the guy must be sleeping. Being with the younger for a little while now, he observed that he purposely keep his door slightly ajar unless if he's studying so there was really no point on asking for permission. It was Beomgyu's gestured of them that they're always welcome.

He wanted to slightly pull a prank on him but the situation he saw frightened him to beat. Beomgyu was drench in cold sweat, twitching side to side as if he was restraint, catching his breath as if he was choked out, mumbling something he couldn't understand and silently whimpering like he was in deep pain and Yeonjun doesn't know what to do but to jump on the younger's side, gently hold him still and tries waking him up in urgent.

"Beomgyu! Wake up." He started but no response it rather made the boy whimper loudly. He is absolutely panicking, torn between calling his husband or wake Beomgyu before things get worst.

"Gyu! Choi Beomgyu. Wake up!" And then Beomgyu sat abruptly, sucking up air while gasping onto his chest and still crying. The best thing Yeonjun could do was pull the younger for an embrace as he tries not to show much worry instead comfort him.

"It's just a dream. You're okay. You're okay now. Hyung is here." He kept repeating. He could feel how Beomgyu could no longer hold his grief as he broke down in a flood of uncontrollable tears. His body trembled and the sound of wail and suffering echoed throughout the room.

Yeonjun is lost. He couldn't understand yet why was Beomgyu crying so much pain. He is lost as to why the younger felt like he had enough and it was even more painful in his part that he didn't notice how much burden did Beomgyu hide behind his smiles. How he could joke around loudly when in fact he can be honest, he could be emotional or that 'not okay' feeling is valid but he understands everything now about the mysterious boy.

Beomgyu was trying and he still does. He's trying to sort everything out alone. He doesn't want to be a burden to them. He wanted to be a ball of sunshine and Yeonjun knows very well that no man is an island. No matter how Beomgyu tries his best to keep everything to himself, life doesn't go that way. You are not meant to carry a misery alone. Life doesn't go that way either.

"Yeonjun hyung." Beomgyu whispered and Yeonjun could only tighten his hold. Give him an assurance that he'll always be willing to listen, willing to be lean on and willing to wait.

"It's okay. It's okay. I won't leave. I'm here." He continues to guarantee until he could only hear sniffling. Their position was a bit uncomfortable but he didn't mind as long as he could offer Beomgyu his presence.

"Sorry for being inconvenient hyung. You must have been startled." Beomgyu spoke, he was trying to loosen up on the older but couldn't look up to him directly.

"You are not allowed to say the 's' word if you haven't done anything. I suppose you were having a bad dream earlier and it's a good thing that I was able to check on you. You don't have to be sorry Gyu. You know that I treat you like a brother now right? I'm always going to be here now and Soobinie, Huening and Taehyun. Whatever it is that you are carrying, we are here with you." Yeonjun replied and Beomgyu couldn't help but feel extremely unfair because what is it that he could offer? His presence? His time? Yes, it's that easy to give but it's still cruel that he's being dishonest about what he actually felt. He wanted to be fair to them and maybe Yeonjun's presence here was the perfect opportunity for him to open up.

"C-can I tell you something hyung?" He asked fidgeting on the hem of his duvet.

"Yes, yes of course. You can!" Yeonjun replied delightedly and he couldn't help but crack a smile seeing how much attention is the older giving him.