The Horton Dilemma [ONC 2022]

IZZY HEARS A WHO

Nakomi looks like the way I just felt: like she's going to faint. I just learned that our universe is merely a microcosm of another world, of Horton's world. Heck, my own body probably hosts infinite worlds. In fact, I know it does. As many before me have said, "I contain multitudes." Except "multitude" just means a really large number, so I'll revise: I contain infinities. My body is host to bacteria, archaea, fungi, protists, viruses, and even micro-animals. One might say I am a world of my own, that each human is a world of their own. And the things that I host are apparently hosts of themselves, to other hosts who are also hosts. Worlds within worlds within worlds.

It's too much to comprehend! My desire to faint seems a little more justified than Nakomi's.

Still, I muster up the ability to speak to her. "This is Horton. One of the lizard people I keep trying to tell you about. But you won't listen."

Nakomi puts up her muddy hand. "After being deprived of all my senses for nearly an hour, I must be losing it."

"Keep telling yourself that."

Abruptly, eyebrow-ringed Claudia opens the door, fresh towels draped over her arm. She sees us, and begins, "Oh, you were supposed to wait until I came to fetch y—" Horton has caught her gaze. She stands there for a couple minutes, then legitimately faints.

"Well," says Horton. "Should we go somewhere more...private?"

"It fucking talks," Nakomi whispers.

"He can hear you," I tell her. Then I turn toward him, saying, "We can go to my apartment."

"Do you want her to come with us?" he asks, and his politeness catches me off guard.

I turn to Nakomi. "Do you want to come with us?"

"You're going with that thing?"

"Yes. I have a lot of questions for him, and I'd rather not have any more spa staff walking in. I'd also like to get this disgusting sludge off of myself."

Nakomi looks back and forth between Horton and I, and sighs. "Since I'm sure I'm probably going to wake up and figure out that this was a dream or the result of the Vivectica™ I can't remember taking: yes. I'll go."

"We'll need to hold on to each other," Horton says, and Nakomi visibly winces. She meanders over, letting me stand in the middle, likely to avoid touching him. He looks at me. "Imagine your apartment."

I do as I'm told, imagining my living room, and he puts a claw on my forehead. Is he reading my mind? I open my eyes to observe him in the midst of his mind-reading, but he's finished, as he swishes the scepter from right to left diagonally. Suddenly, the three of us are standing in front of my living room's Wall TV. My body feels vaguely like it's just twitched, a big twitch, kind of like when you're about to fall asleep and you suddenly feel like you're falling and it jolts you awake. I feel more awake, and slightly annoyed by it.

"That is not how I imagined teleportation would feel," I say, turning to look at my two traveling buddies.

A dazed expression has taken residence on Nakomi's face, while Horton is taking the opportunity to shamelessly snoop around my apartment. I notice, for the first time, that he has a tail, and he appears to be remarkably in control of it. This is the first time I've really seen him walking around and not just hovering over me or teleporting right in front of me. The kitchen has immediately drawn him, likely because the stainless steel contraptions remind him of the hyper-technological features of his own space-stationy home. With his clawed hand, he touches my espresso machine first and my freeze-drying machine second. "There are some freeze-dried apricots in there," I tell him. "If you're hungry. I'm gonna...shower. Is that okay?"